Ramblings of a mad? scientist

TIme flies

2007-05-27T20:46:00.000-06:00

Baby's first concert - Paul Brandt!

Hope to get more to you all tomorrow after the doc's appt!

Can you say mood in a toilet?

2007-05-14T14:10:00.000-06:00

Yeah, that's my today.

I think people are supposed to be excited to go to their prenatal appointments, and in some small space of my brain I am. But there's one thing I dread every visit, and that's the stepping on the scale. Coming from a weight obsessed family it is hard not to feel like crap when you realize how much you have gained. I thought I was doing not too bad, but then I got my prenatal sheets (that I'm now supposed to carry pretty much everywhere) and well, now I can see in black and white the weight gain. If it weren't for this baby, I'd be tempted to stop eating altogether... I've never been this heavy in my life, and I know, I know, there's a baby in there, but c'mon, how much does the baby weigh, like 3 pounds right now? And the fluid and stuff adds some too, but everything I read says that I can expect to gain a pound at least a week... and I have 10 weeks to go! That's at least 10 more pounds!

The only reassurance today was hearing the baby's heartbeat, but I think I was already too upset about the weight thing to even really enjoy it. It's just so hard, all I seem to crave is sweets.

M has offered to help us both eat a bit lighter since he wants to also cut back on how much he's eating so I hope that helps. 'cause right now I'm just in that nice dark pit, except it's not a nice dark cool pit cause it's friggin hot out. heh, ok there's still some humor left in me.

I was gonna blog about classes, but maybe I'll see if tomorrow I'm more in the mood.

Please please can I have a non-stress week?

2007-05-08T10:53:00.001-06:00

Let's start with a happy belly picture. Here is baby and me at 29weeks. Please ignore the disasterous sewing room behind me. :)

Ok, so where'd we leave off. Right, M flew to Ft. Mac on Friday to fix some computers, apparently he was done by 10:30 in the morning and did some odds and ends until he got to fly out around 3:30ish in the afternoon.

I had the car at work and thought, yay! I can bring home the baby gate and heater that I was given by a gal here. Heh, typical baby brain I guess, I forgot it at work. Now it waits until next monday when I next have the car here. So I bounce out of work, go to get C and then head to the airport to pick up M. We get M and begin to head to P's house 'cause we're all going out for dinner and then M is going to work on P's old comp for S. We're all nice and relaxed sitting at a read light on 118th ave and 124th street when KERSMASH we get rear ended. *sigh* Yup, there starts our weekend.

So M get's the other driver's info and checks the car for damage. Luckily it wasn't too high of an impact, the running lights on the rear bumper are busted, and the bumper itself is cracked. The worst damage is that the trunk is not releasing properly from inside the car, and if you open it manually with the key it doesn't "pop" up like it normally does, it kind of "sticks". You can still get it open but you have to actually lift it now. C and I don't move from where we are frozen in the car. When M gets back into the car I say "ok, we have to cancel dinner, 'cause I'm going to emerg", I know no one is really hurt, but I'm scared for the baby and I want it checked out.

So we take C to P's house, M lets him know what's happening and P offers to watch C for us while we go to the hospital. Off we head to the Sturgeon emerg, we get there and there's no lineup! I love the Sturgeon, for a hospital, they're pretty decent. We get admitted and then sit for a few minutes before heading in to be assessed. They take the doppler to my tummy and I lose it when I hear the baby's heartbeat... I guess I was more worried than I thought. They also checked M's neck and stuff just to be on the safe side. After waiting some more after the initial assessment a doc came in and said that they wanted to do a stress test on the baby, just to be on the safe side. I'm all for anything to make sure that the baby is ok.

So, off we head to the maternity ward for this monitoring. The ER doc said it should only take 30 mins, heh. We get up there and they tell us it will be 4hrs! Whoah. At this point neither of us has eaten since lunch, so after they get me hooked up I send M off to call parents and get food. M organizes with P for C to sleep overnight, and picks up some subs. He comes back to the hospital to find out I'm not allowed to eat, just in case. So there we sit, for 4 hrs. At about 11pm they let me have some juice and yogurt, and around midnight they decide I can go home. As cool as it was to lay there and listen to the baby's heartbeat for 4 hours, it was getting a bit tiresome. So back we went to the ER to get discharged, and got home just before 1am.

So yeah, that was the start to my weekend. Not nearly as relaxing as I'd hoped, and I knew we'd still have to deal with the insurance company on monday (I didn't think it qualified as an "emergency claim" as no one was hurt except for the car, and it was still driveable).

Now it is mostly in the hands of the insurance company, we're getting an estimate on the damage today, and that should give us an idea if they're going to write off the car (it is 10 years old). Guh, not the way I wanted to get a new car. Guess we'll have to just wait and see.

Oh and HR still hasn't posted my job listing... eek

And panic sets in

2007-05-04T09:06:00.000-06:00

...with teeth and claws

So, yeah, I've had a few bouts with panic/nerves etc, but nothing compared to last night. I totally lost it, it was all I could do not to go hide in my room and just cry. I just keep thinking how the hell do people do this? And do it more than once? I feel so lost, so unprepared. M tries his best to help, but he can't get in my head and fix the fears. He keeps telling me to relax, and I try, but it never lasts for long. I tried last night to just sit back and watch tv last night, but it still kept hitting in waves of panic/tears. I haven't played WoW since what, Monday... just don't feel up to it, plus we've been really busy this week.

I know this week has been extra stressful, and I try to use that to put things in perspective. It just seems that M has demands all over the place and neither him nor I want to say no to anyone right now. I just feel so overwhelmed. Apparently a lot of it is part of the hormones, the panic to get the house in order etc becomes worse that kind of thing.

M and I talked about the classes last night, he's much more interested as we get into the later topics, he's quite keen on the hospital tour, as am I. He also wants to hear the "drug" talk, cause he thinks that will be fun, lol.. that's my hubby.

For now I'm just trying to relax. M's company flew him to Ft. Mac today to do some computer upgrades, at least he'll be back tonight and not staying over. But then we have dinner with P tonight, and M and C go to P's for D&D tomorrow, and we need to get the yard done 'cause Greendrop is coming soon, and the house is a mess, and the baby's room is just a pile of stuff right now... sigh. This is where my mind sits right now. I can't clean the house from top to bottom, and I can't expect the boys to do it either. I know it's not as big a disaster as I think it is, but it seems that everything is amplified right now. The smallest thing is driving me bonkers... if I were to make a to do list it would be pages long.

Guh... ok I'm rambling now and it's going nowhere.

First prenatal class update

2007-05-03T14:48:00.000-06:00

So, for anyone who is curious. We had our first prenatal class last night. M made a lot of fuss whining and not wanting to go, but being the lovely man he is, he sucked it up and went with me.

There's about a dozen couples in the class, the lastest due date being July 24th. The gal teaching the class is a RN and has 5 kids (2 daughters and triplet boys), so I figure she's pretty qualified.

We started with relaxation and breathing exercises. For me, this was the worst part of the whole class. I mean, I love it when M touches me, but to be doing it in a classroom, surrounded by 20+ other people, even if they are doing the same thing, wierds me out. The breathing was even worse, I know it's good to learn and all, but talk about feeling like a complete gomer. M said I turned beet red the whole time we were doing it. I was very relieved when that part of the class was over and we could just sit and listen to the instructor talk.

She covered a variety of topics, true/false labor, what to put in your "goody bag" which is different from the "hospital bag". The goody bag is the stuff for YOU rather than the baby. Things to amuse you during labor, things to do, gum, chapstick, that kind of stuff. Also, to bring food for the "coach" cause the cafeteria has crappy hours at the Sturgeon. She also started talking about the stages of labor, really just the beginning. Lots of pictures to look at, so far nothing that scary except for what 10cm dilated looks like (yowch!).

I suppose the best thing that came out of it is the realization that I want M to make sure before ANY doctor/resident/nurse etc does any procedure on me, if I am not coherent enough, that he gets a definite medical reason for it. She showed us the tool they use to break your water if it doesn't break naturally and that made me really think about it. I mean, if they want to "speed things along" without any good reason, they can FRO. Now, if they have a medical reason, that's fine, but the doc having a golf game, is not a medical reason :)

I also never thought of myself as the "natural" person, but the more I hear about all the technology the less thrilled I am about using it. I know my mind may chance, but right now I'm leaning towards au natural with a healthy dose of nitrous ;) Epidurals scare the crap out of me, never mind the chance of needing a catheter with it (ick) and of course an IV (scream). Funny that, I am more scared of having to have an IV put in (I've had 3 in my lifetime) than labor.

Well that's it for now, unless any of you faceless (and one faced - *wave* Taryn) who read this have any questions :)

Registries and such

2007-05-01T15:27:00.000-06:00

So, I'm being pushed to make registries for the baby. I put a couple together and I'll put 'em up here so I don't lose 'em. M doesn't agree with them (he didn't agree with the one for the wedding either) but people seem to expect that you will have them, so I puttered some time away today looking at cute baby stuff online.

Sears: Registry# 200705472644 (or use my name)
http://www.giftregistry.sears.ca/gift/egrSearch001.jsp

ToysRUS/BabiesRUs: Registry# 913120634 (or use my name)
http://www.toysrus.ca/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/GiftRegistryHomeView?storeId=10051&catalogId=10052&langId=-1&link_type=image&refTag=TRU_TN_SN_registry

To be honest, I have no idea what we need at this point, classes start tomorrow, perhaps we'll get a shopping list then. I also have to unpack all the stuff my sister sent from Ontario. Speaking of which, anyone want fun? Try to explain why I need a breast pump to a 10 year old, cause of all the stuff I brought home, he homes in on that box to ask about. Then he wanders off after the explanation going "pump, pump, pump", I'm sure he has some sort of "cow milking" idea in his head now.

Swing baby swing!

2007-04-30T14:43:00.000-06:00

I totally forgot this morning, here is the swing that my grandmother bought for the baby. It's "rainforest" themed, I just liked how bright it was, and the fact that instead of depending entirely on "D" batteries $$$ it plugs in. It swings side to side and front to back and plays 6 different songs I think.

Baby update

2007-04-30T11:28:00.000-06:00

So, 28 week doc's appt today. Things are going well, at least she has no negative comments. The baby's heart rate was 145bpm, and he/she was just running around in there today. The doc figured the baby had a growth spurt over the past 2 weeks, but I only gained approx 1lb over that time, so that's cool.

My blood pressure continues to be low (very cool!) even with me being stressed with M riding to Calgary today to work down there for a couple of days. He did call from Red Deer to reassure me, but I'm still waiting on the call to say he's in Calgary (sigh).

Also, my hemoglobin was good (13) so no worries of anemia, and my blood glucose was also good, I didn't get a number, but no worries of gestational diabetes (phew).

So knock on wood, this pregnancy is proceeding totally normally. I guess the original miscarriage cleaned the bugs out of the system?

So, yeah, I get to fret for the next few days with M away. Going to go to the parents tonight for supper to try to relax.

PHEW, just got my call from M. He's in Calgary. I feel much better now. Now I can get to work.

Will try to keep you all posted more frequently, but work seems to keep interfearing ;)

My job posting still isn't up... I'm gonna have no replacement, ack!

Well at least the baby will have some clothes, K at work is going to drop by 3 garbage bags of baby clothes this weekend probably.

Yes, random sporadic thoughts... stress does that to me...

13 weeks to go? YIPES!

2007-04-24T12:44:00.000-06:00

Here ya go. The 27 week tummy. I think M is proud of it, considering he had to get as much of it in the picture as possible.

The baby tends to move a bit more now, but still has quiet days. M's side I think results in the baby doing jumping jacks at about 10-11pm at night and about 5am in the morning. My side contributes to the baby sleeping all day. :)

Still no one to take over my mat leave at work. I'm getting pretty negative on that topic. It's my work, and I'm pretty attached to it. The thought of someone else doing it for a year is kind of like someone moving into your house. I dunno, I'd just like to have some choice in the matter, not just have to deal with whoever the boss picks. The job posting still hasn't gone up on the HR site at work yet and it's almost MAY. I mean, I'm only at work officially until July 17th, and that's if I don't take any holidays. I could be gone at the end of June if things really get uncomfortable.

So, the wake last weekend went well I think. We had a lot of people come through the house. I never realized how many people were shocked that we volunteered our house for it. It was just natural, it was one of the first things out of my mouth when I heard P's news. I'm glad we could do that for him and B. Although, wow, was I tired after for about 3 days. Got to remember I don't have my normal stamina ;)

Now, life is going back to "normal". Work, homework and WoW seem to be all we do nowadays. I really need to get the energy to get out in the yard now that the weather is getting nicer. The boys were really sweet this weekend though, they cleaned up the kitchen and vacuumed for me, and cooked dinner! All I had to do was laundry. It was a nice relief for me to be able to sit back, even though I have a hard time doing that when I know other people are working.

And yeah, 13 weeks! Holy crap. We are so not ready, or at least I'm not. We still have next to no baby clothes, blankets, etc. I have this nightmare that we'll end up at the hospital with nothing for the baby.

Our prenatal classes start next week, wonder if they'll be blogworthy?

Quickie

2007-04-16T11:19:00.000-06:00

So, before I forget.

I'm on 2 week visits to the obgyn now. Checkup on baby. Today was getting a req for bloodwork - haemoglobin and the glucose screen for gestational diabetes. Probably go get those done on the weekend.

Baby was doing well, 151-156bpm heartrate. My blood pressure is sitting nicely in the normal range, woo!

New link

2007-04-12T09:10:00.000-06:00

While it is available online, I would like to direct everyone to the link for Brianna on my links bar.

Hug your loved ones today...

Warning - very sad news to follow

2007-04-10T09:21:00.000-06:00

Saturday April 7

We had known P's wife was not doing well in the hospital, but I don't think any of us had any idea of the real situation, or perhaps we were all just hoping for the best. She was in ICU on a respirator and dialysis due to complications from infections she was fighting (Influenza A, Pneumonia, and the resident Pseudomonas infection that plagues many CF patients). What we didn't know when P said he was going to meet with her doctors that they were going to be discussing B's treatment wishes. Even though I knew it was coming, I was not prepared to recieve that phone call Saturday evening.

I think it is best to share with all who know P and B, P's words:

Saturday afternoon, april 7th 2007, I and Brianna's family after consulting with her doctors, made my hardest descision ever, and followed my wife's wishes. She was removed from all support and allowed to breathe at a regular rate through her intubation.

At 3:45pm, surrounded by myself and her immediate family my beautiful angel passed away quietly and painlessly.

I appreciate all the love and support I have recieved thus far.

As her wish we will be celebrating her life with a wake. This Saturday april 14th at Mike and
Lisa Davies' house in st. Albert starting at 2pm until whenever we see fit. Anyone who wishes to come to remminece or speak to me or simply be there, for 10 minutes or 5 hours, please come. I will leave my e-mail at the end of this message and will reply with a map to get there to any who want one. In liew of flowers or any other such momento my darling Brianna had requested you donate to C.F. (cystic fibrosis) foundation here in Edmonton in her name. Bring food wine and song, bring laughter tears and stories, but most of all bring Love.............

For any of you we have not got in touch with, please feel welcome to join us all. I am not including P's email to respect his privacy here, but you can email me and I will send the details.

Long awaited update?

2007-04-10T08:59:00.000-06:00

So, it's been what, 2 weeks again? Life just doesn't seem to give anyone a break anymore it seems. So what's been going on...

Well I was sick for a week (missed 4 days of work) which really sucked. I never realized how miserable a cold is when you can't take anything for it. And well since I generally update this at work, that's where that week went.

I also found out this week that P's wife went back into hospital with complications with an infection, never good news. So we took P out for dinner Tuesday night even tho I was barely moving just to get him out for a bit.

Things went from bad to worse after that. Get back to work, swamped with trying to catch everything up, go to a dinner talk Tuesday night which wipes me pretty much for the rest of the week.. guh. So totally looking forward to a relaxing long weekend.

Thursday my mood is down, and I decide it's time to do some girly stuff, so I call up C and suggest we head out to the mall to get me a haircut and maybe find some maternity shirts. T-shirts are starting to look a bit funny over the tummy. No luck on the maternity clothes Thursday, but I did get my hair cut. Not sure what I think of it yet, it's a lot shorter, but a lot healthier.

Friday P phoned us to ask if we'd mind taking his son S to hang out with C for the afternoon, so we decided to postpone our shopping on Friday to Saturday and figured we'd just drag the boys with us. P's wife wasn't doing very well in hospital and he had a meeting with the doctors Saturday afternoon so he figured S could use the relaxation time.

So Saturday we grabbed the boys and went shopping. We decided to look at maternity clothes again at a different mall, and to perhaps look at strollers. I did find 3 maternity shirts that I didn't mind too much, so picked those up. Then we headed over to Sears to look at strollers. They had some really nice ones, and there was one in particular we were interested in. We had a lovely saleslady helping us, and we thought we'd go think about it and check what Zellers had. M also needed pants BADLY so we went over to Zellers to see what they had for strollers and pants. Their baby section was rather scary, none of their "demo" strollers even had all their wheels, so we didn't even really give them a glance. We picked out pants for M and went back to Sears. Getting back there, we waited and waited and waited being ignored by the other sales girl in the department until I finally gave up and stood in line. When she finally got to me, I said "I wanted to find out about a stroller", not even looking up from her computer she said "What kind?", and then was annoyed when I said I didn't know which one it was and I needed her to move her ass and come with me. I finally convinced her to let go of her computer and come to where I needed her to look at the stroller. And, after all that, she says, "Oh, I don't think we have any of those left" so of course, I ask her if she could double check. OMG apparently I shouldn't expect her to do her job... so she checks, yes, they don't have any. And then I have to ask if she can check other stores... wow, when I worked at Zellers many many years ago I'd have been shot if I didn't offer to do it for a customer. So she sighs and looks it up and says well maybe Southgate or Bonnie Doon will have it. And then she hands me a slip of paper with the phone numbers for those stores!!! She says "There's a phone over there you can use". OMGWTF!

So, I have to phone other Sears stores... (sigh) Well I phone Southgate and get a very nice lady over there who goes to look and says "Yes, we have one left, shall I put it on hold for you?" I say yes please, and we hustle over to Southgate, boys in tow. We get to the mall, get into Sears, and find the department. We ask about the stroller and this lady comes rushing over going "I'm so sorry! We tried to call you!" Turns out that stroller was already on hold for someone else. By this point M is so mad he looks like he's going to cry, and I'm about ready to give up for the day. But this lady is just so apologetic, and she offers to show us their most popular stroller instead, since they couldn't guarantee that they would get any more of the other stroller in. Surprisingly enough, when she shows us the other stroller, we like it even better than the one we had originally chosen.

Here is a picture of the stroller, but ours is black and white checkers.

After much squishing we got everyone and the stroller box into the car and headed home. We figured we'd relax Sat night and get to work on chores etc on Sunday since we had the father in law's b-day Sunday night and dinner with my family for easter monday. What happened Saturday night deserves it's own article.

Ah the joy of hormones

2007-03-24T08:25:00.000-06:00

So yeah... I just woke up from sleeping for almost 14 hours. I don't feel good about it, but somewhere in my mind or body I must have needed it.

The only problem is, that instead of feeling better or refreshed, I just feel down, like sit in the corner crying kind of down. Maybe it is because it is the weekend and I don't have work to focus on that the realization of this baby hits, I'm not sure. All I know right now is I am craving some nice weather so I can get on my bike one last time before I get to big to get the belly over the gas tank. Although I think once it gets big, a prego biker chick pic would be good, yes?

I hope this feeling will lift... once the house wakes up and gets moving. I feel guilty for leaving M all alone last night since I went to bed at about 6:30pm, but really there was nothing he could do to help I don't think.

Well, cross your fingers all, that this mood lifts and we get some sunshine today. It is supposed to hit 13C today.

Ok, ok, ok... an update

2007-03-22T13:22:00.000-06:00

Wow, ok there's a tummy! I didn't even really look at this picture until I uploaded it. I think there's a baby in there! :)

So yeah, it's been a bit since I last posted anything. Things have been chaotic a best and downright depressing at their worst.

The baby is definately starting to move around, and either it likes certain things, or it's my mood when I'm doing/watching/listening to stuff, because all of a sudden I'll get wicked boots for a few minutes. The other day I was working at my bench and the kicks were enough to set me into giggles. Granted then another night I was sitting up in bed and I was getting kicks in rather uncomfortable places (my crotch), had to tell the baby to move it! Juggled my position, and finally they stopped.

So anyways, the chaos. For the most of the beginning of March I was involved at work not only with writing a grant, but writing/editing/data crunching for my very first FIRST author paper. Now I have a few pubs out there already as a supporting author, for anyone that knows me, google or search PubMed for my maiden name and you should find a few. So that made for extremly long busy days, were I did nothing on my computer but look at spreadsheets and documents. I'm glad that is all over... for now. Since we found out shortly after submission that the paper was rejected from the first journal we chose. So now I have to reformat it for another journal.

I also had my meeting with HR to set up my benefits/etc for my mat leave. That went better than I expected, also since M's company will cover my health stuff I only have to carry disability and life insurance for the year. They also gave me a diaper bag gift bag! It was ever so nice!

Let's see, what else. The boys were supposed to have a dentist appointment last weekend (for both of 'em) and when we got there we found out that their computer had crashed and that the appointments got lost (I booked them 3 months ago to get a Saturday appt), so we managed to get C squeezed in, but M has to wait until next week. I don't think he was dissapointed. So, C needs to see an orthodontist, I pretty much expected that, one of his front teeth is pretty much sideways in his mouth. So we'll see what happens with that appointment (It's not until June).

I went to see my obgyn again, baby is doing well, heartbeat was 147bpm, and apparently it was being a pain to get a heartrate from as it was chugging all over the place and the doc had to chase it to get the heart rate. So it appears that there will be no more ultrasounds unless something comes up.

I made the mistake of going to a Welcome Wagon baby shower this past weekend. It was a good and a bad idea. I felt really left out and alone because I was the only girl there not trailing at least a husband, girlfriends and mothers. I mean I know I have girlfriends and all, but it was just such short notice I guess. I dunno. I came home a pretty big basket case. Stressed and strung out about how much there was to know, to buy, etc. I'm doing better now, but every once in awhile it hits home again.

Definately have to get together with the girls more often I think. But it seems that everyone is so busy with all their own things nowadays it's hard to get time.

We also had PT interviews with C's teacher this week. It wasn't as bad as we'd feared, but he is dropping his marks/effort etc in school. A lot of it seems to be an attitude issue... if he doesn't want to do it, he won't, he'll actually argue assignment wording with the teacher. (sigh) She thinks he will grow out of it, I certainly hope so. These homework battles are really taking their toll on M and I... I mean how much can we keep going over and over and over and over the same things? C is 10 years old, he shouldn't need his teacher to pack his homework in his backpack to make sure he takes it home every night.

Well enough whining, today is a nice day, I'm in a good mood (so far), the sun is shining and I get to go home in an hour and a half.

Meh just nothin much new

2007-03-01T11:20:00.000-07:00

So here's a rather blurry pic of my 19 week tummy. I don't think it looks like much, but M says it's "popped out" in the last week. Oh and like my PJ's? M bought 'em for me for Christmas!

Nothin much in the news really, I still haven't felt much movement from the baby, but who knows, maybe he/she kicks the heck out of me when I'm sleeping. Speaking of sleeping, I went to bed last night around 9:30-10 and when I got up I was still so exhausted I called into work and crawled back into bed until almost 11am this morning. I assume that means the baby is growing or something, because I really haven't done anything to justify needing that much sleep all of a sudden.

Today I'm just generally kind of down, not majorly down, just slightly... so here's nother pic to cheer you all up. It's Bear! I was messing around with the camera, and he normally loves to pose for it, this time M made some noise and Bear turned toward him and I captured him with his eyes closed!

Obgyn update

2007-02-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

So, we had our first Ob/Gyn appointment today. Talk about chaos. The woman was tied up with a c-section so all her morning appointments were delayed. Then we finally got to see her and whooosh! off she goes to it sounded like 3 women in labor. She seemed like a nice lady, quick and to the point. I miss my regular doc, but I understand she's a lot more qualified in the baby sense.

The baby's heartrate this morning was 151bpm and it only took the doc 30 seconds to find it. She said the baby was moving around quite a bit this morning, but I'm still not feeling too much. I really hope that changes.

I'm also trying not to get too hung up on the weight gain issue, but I hate the fact that they weigh you every time you go in there. I'm up about 3kg from my initial appointment weight back in November. Mental note, just add more veggies ;) maybe that will make me feel a bit better.

The other nice thing, is that my blood pressure is down from my normal "doctor's office" blood pressure.

I have a new belly pic, but it's at home, so it will follow another day.

Fourth ultrasound

2007-02-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

So, here is our baby measuring in at 18 weeks, 2 days (on Wednesday). His/her heartrate was 140bpm. I was told it can vary from 120-180bpm depending on baby's and mom's activity.

Definately looks like the baby has my nose (grin), nice and little. We saw some awesome footage as the technician showed us a cutdown from the skull right down to the feet. It is amazing what you can see. I especially liked being able to differentiate the two bones of the forearms. But the longbones in the legs were pretty cool too.

Baby was doing cartwheels, so she had some fun trying to get all the images required. Apparently they do a whole wack of measurements at this ultrasound. The tech spent a good 10 minutes just looking for a hand as the baby was laying on them.

C was very amused that the baby's head is almost the same size as it's belly right now.

We have the obgyn appointment monday morning, so if there's any more details from the ultrasound, I guess i'll hear about them then. If not, I'll call my GP after.

Nursery Pics

2007-02-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

So, finally I got around to taking some pictures of the baby's new stuff. Here you see the crib we bought and the so cute bedding! The crib converts from a crib->toddler bed->headboard for a double bed, so if the kid doesn't destroy it, we're set for awhile. We're sticking with greens and yellows for colors right now since we don't know if it's a boy or a girl, and well, if we do, we probably won't tell anyone :p Plus I HATE PINK. Point to note people. It may be hard to tell from the pic, but the bed linens are a kind of pastel jungle theme. The elephant and giraffe squeek when you squish 'em too!

The fancy paintjob on the walls is courtsey of the previous owners of the house, it is also in the "kid's bathroom" across the hall from this room. Very cute, but I'm not sure how to paint over it when we decide to paint the room as the little bugs and flowers are slightly raised.

Here is a cockeyed picture of the change table. We wanted to add a few drawers to the room, even though there are a few built in. Now we're looking for a recliner/rocking chair for me to use in the room as we had to pull the futon out to make room for the crib (it was bigger than I thought).

New things bring new fears

2007-02-20T15:03:00.000-07:00

Well we did get out shopping this weekend, I'll get to that.

Saturday C went with his mom for the day, so M and I went out shopping. I was going to take him to see Ghostrider, but he was still too sick to sit in a theater for 2 hrs, so we went to ToysRUs which started the shopping idea. At ToysRUs we looked at baby furniture and strollers and baby monitors and stuff. Trying to get an idea of what each of us liked and didn't like. After digging through there and not being terribly thrilled at the furniture prices we decided to hit Walmart. We were able to find a compareable crib and changetable at half the price of ToysRUs. So, yeah, we bought them both. Then we had to call the mom-in-law to come with the truck to help us bring it all home. We also went to Home Depot while we waited for her to get a new light fixture for C's room (his is pretty much dead) and a desk lamp for his desk (I don't think there's enough light over his desk when he sits there for homework).

We still haven't really decided on a stroller other than we want a "travel package" (infant car seat+stroller) with BIG WHEELS. I never realized how much of an issue it would be until we started looking. Big wheels are much easier to navigate with.

Then M, the mother-in-law, and I all went to Red Lobster for dinner, and I had a whole plate of seafood! Well not counting the potatoes and veggies. I had a snow crab and king crab combo which was pretty good until I got about 3/4 of the way through and I started to get a bit overwhelmed. I managed to finish the crab and my veggies though. Figured I could leave the potatoes.

So Saturday was a really good day. Sunday, well it started to go downhill from there. We were all really tired I think from Saturday and we had the house chores to get started on. M was trying to figure out how to fit the furniture in the baby's room and decided we needed to move the futon out, so we got it out kicking up a lot of dust probably along the way, so M started feeling pretty sick again. We also had D pop over for a visit and to show us her latest company endeavor.

We wrote off the rest of Sunday relaxing and recovering. Monday the boys got back at the furniture and I got onto the dishes and other stuff. Finally got my elliptical trainer together! Then when they finished all the stuff in the baby's room I went up to look and that's when it hit me. I'm having a baby? Can I really do this?

To top it off, I've recently been feeling really not pregnant. The baby has been pretty quiet the past week, no more fluttering birds. That gets me concerned, even though everything I read says it could just be that the baby isn't in a good position for me to feel it at this point. D says I'm showing, but I still just feel fat. I mean, on Saturday I even got an old pair of jeans on, and zipped up. Granted they weren't comfy to sit in like that, and I did spend the day with them undone under a long shirt but it didn't reassure me.

We have our 18 week ultrasound tomorrow and I'm hoping that this reassures me for a little while again.

So yeah, I think the "I'm scared" has settled in with a vengence the past few days. I'm cranky, I hate the way I look and I want to cry and hide. M is being a sweetheart and trying to reassure me, and I love him for that. I don't want to make it hard on him, and I know I am with my crankiness. I snap at him, I snap at C, I snap at the dog. I just feel like such a heel.

Hello hormones

2007-02-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's what this week has been all about hormones and stress. I'm not really sure which is pushing the other, but they're goin hand in hand this week. I'm crying at the drop of a hat, and wanting to scream the rest of the time. It's that whole saying "I have one nerve left, and you're on it", except that the whole world is on it.

Grey's Anatomy last night had me sobbing as usual, even when not pregnant, the show could get me teary-eyed, and especially this story line for some reason. It's gonna be hard to wait till next week to see what happens next.

Everyone at work is stressed and bitchy, welcome to grant time. Thank goodness it's a long weekend.

Speaking of the long weekend, what's keeping me going is that M and I are going to try to get out to see Ghostrider tomorrow and to go out for an early dinner together while C is out with his mom. But M is sick, so I'm not sure how well this is going to all pan out. I'm trying to grab the two of us time when I can. I know once the baby gets here it's only going to get harder to spend some quality time together.

Wish I had something better to chat about rather than whining, but apparently this is the whining phase of pregnany. Perhaps next week will be better? I can only hope so.

We have out 18.5 week ultrasound on Wednesday, that will be exciting for sure.

And I suppose one of these days M and I should get out and start looking at baby stuff.

They got lucky

2007-02-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

So, I didn't hang up on my parents on Friday when they called to wish me a happy birthday. They did at least start the conversation with "Happy Birthday" before going on about my sister's baby.

I took the day off Friday, and good thing too, I had one hell of a stress headache. Combined with still trying to get C to finish his homework from Wednesday *sigh* it wasn't pretty. I also baked a cake all before noon.

M took off the afternoon and brought me home a Snoogle! This is the most awesome pillow ever, not only for pregnant people, but anyone with back/neck/hip pain.

http://www.toysrus.ca/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10051&catalogId=10052&langId=-1&productId=96751

I slept Friday night with the pillow and woke up Saturday with no headache! And I haven't had one since. Worst thing is getting tangled in the pillow when I get up in the middle of the night for my once to twice nightly pee.

Went out Friday with the in-laws for dinner. I probably would have enjoyed it more if the food didn't taste like formaldehyde... I don't blame the restaurant, I blame my hormones and headache. I'll have to go back when I'm feeling better and try again. Early night Friday.

Saturday we did some chores and tried to go pick up the odds and ends we need around the house, light fixtures, bathroom fan. We thought we'd just hit Crappy Tire since we didn't need much and it's closer. Except when we get there they are renovating and we can't find a damn thing! So we give up and head home. M has a nap and C and I play WoW until it's time to get ready to go out to B&C's fondue party.

The fondue was pretty cool. Didn't quite get to see everyone I wanted to because we had to leave to get C to bed. Tried pineapple in chocolate... mmmm and someone brought sour jube jubes, even nummier! and no, not in chocolate, just plain.

Sunday was relaxed as I did laundry and played WoW for most of the day. We met up with my family for dinner and they were relatively well behaved. Only one set of eyeball rolling on the part of myself, my baby sister her "bf" and M that shut my mom down talking about the sister's baby.

And now back to work this week. Still crazy as it's grant time. Things should settle down in March, guh. And of course today the sun is beating in my window even with the blinds closed so it feels like it's about 25 in here. I'm totally going to be having to work naked this sumer.

Ooo and talked to T last night, who I probably haven't spoken to since her b-day in October. Very happy to hear from her, I was getting worried as I hadn't heard from her over the holidays when she was in town. Got that all sorted out though, an hour later we'd pretty much gotten each other caught up.

Well time to get back to work.

Doctor's appointment update

2007-02-08T15:33:00.000-07:00

So, had my doc's appointment today. It's been a month since I was last there and I was quite relieved to hear that yes, there still is a baby in there. We found his/her heartbeat right away (~159bpm) and my uterus is where it's supposed to be for this far along (halfway to my bellybutton).

To top it all off, I think the baby is finally definately moving. Perhaps being poked and prodded at the doc's office pissed him/her off but there's been definate chugging/flapping/vibrating in my lower abdomen. To the point it's making me giggle with how annoyed it feels. I can't wait until it's definate enough that M and C can feel it as well.

Two weeks until the next ultrasound where we find out perhaps if it is a boy or girl, if the baby is cooperative and shows us its bits and pieces. :)

So who's putting money on the fact that instead of "Happy Birthday" tomorrow when my parents call it will be "N had a ...". I mean it's great and all that my sister is spawning on my birthday, but really, that's no excuse. Guess we'll see what happens.

I also have a chocolate fondue to look forward to on Saturday, I have the boys convinced to actually come with me, so the whole clan will be hitting B&C's place.

I'm taking tomorrow off, so I can relax, bake my own birthday cake (sigh) but actually I don't mind all that much, I have a ton of ice cream, so getting an ice cream cake might be rather redundant this year.

Well best pack up, day's almost done.

Changing permissions

2007-02-07T12:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, just a quick note. I was messing with my comments permissions and changed the settings. Let me know if you are having troubles commenting.

Down down deeper

2007-02-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

I know I need to update this thing, and I have thoughts and stuff rolling around in my head, just not finding a way out.

For example, where is this 2nd trimester energy burst? I have yet to see it and it’s kind of getting me down. Well seems today everything is getting me down. I also don’t feel like my stomach is growing and maybe I’m expecting too much too soon but still, I’m tired of feeling fat and huge and wish I actually looked pregnant. I have a doc’s appt this week and I’m hoping that we can hear the baby’s heartbeat clearer (I still haven’t heard it with the fetal heartbeat toy I got), and also ask the doc about this constant tiredness. One of the gals at work says I should get my bloodwork done again to rule out anemia, I think I’ll ask the doc about it just to be on the safe side.

I’d also like to feel a definite movement from the baby. I know it’s still early and I’m probably worrying over nothing, but this is me… I have trouble with the intangible, that’s why I’m a scientist. And until this baby starts kickin up a storm, or I finally develop a tummy that my own husband recognizes as pregnant I just don’t feel it. The only sign I have is not having a period since October. Hell, sometimes I feel like putting on my old jeans just to see if I’ve outgrown ‘em yet. I’ve been wearing my maternity pants because they are more comfortable on my stomach as I seem to be more bloated with gas than anything else. I spend my evenings burping like crazy no matter what I eat, and it seems the only way to stop it, is to keep snacking… but I don’t want to do that either for fear of packing on 80lbs like my cousin did.

I think the other reason I’m down is my birthday is on Friday. The only message I get from my parents is when I sent them a cute picture of a puppy on toast and my mom writes back to ask if I have any “birthday plans yet” and maybe dinner on Sunday? I mean that’s what I was expecting, but my birthday is Friday for pete’s sake. I’m trying not to get to down on it since it’s probably just that my baby sister can’t make Friday night and not that my parents are so wrapped up in my other sister having her baby Friday as well that my birthday is on the backburner. I’m too used to being put on the backburner with my mother. It’s frustrating.

I suppose on the positive side, it frees me up to spend Friday with my boys.

Quick update

2007-01-29T12:13:00.001-07:00

So a quickie update. This past week has been pretty chaotic. More homework battles with C. The kid just has no concept of forward thinking. If it isn’t in front of his face it doesn’t exist. *sigh*

We went to see “Smokin’ Aces” with free passes on Wed night. It wasn’t too bad, the price was right.

Guh, between homework fights I can’t remember what else happened this week.

I cleaned for almost 4 hours on Saturday afternoon while the boys were out. That was nice. But I overdid it and had trouble moving properly on Sunday. Maybe the whole nesting thing is starting, or maybe I was just disgusted with my house. Hard to say.

Other than that, everyone is fine. Baby isn’t doing too much this week, at least nothing noteworthy.

Wanted to get another belly pic done this weekend, but we just didn’t get around to it. Hope to get one soon.

Just feel totally burned out and brain isn't working all that well... maybe I should go have lunch.

Venting

2007-01-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

Madame Zaritska's reading
Madame Zaritska, our resident clairvoyant, wants to help you prepare for the arrival of your child. Here she does her best to predict certain aspects of your labor and birth experience.
What she senses for youThe day you deliver, outside will be slightly overcast. Your baby will arrive in the early evening.
After a labor lasting approximately 4 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 7 pounds, 5 ounces, and will be 18-1/2 inches long. This child will have hazel eyes and be almost bald.
But there is more. I sense that you are in need of distraction. Some enjoyment.
http://sheknows.com/about/look/736.htm

The above was good for a laugh. I’ll take a 4 hr labor, who wouldn’t?

So my hubby was a sweetheart, when I said last week that I wanted that baby heartbeat thingy he jumped right out and ordered it online. I guess he missed the sentence following saying that I was going to go look for it on Saturday. I felt like such a heel when I brought it home and he got upset because he’d ordered one. Hopefully he was able to cancel his order, he won’t tell me either way. He’s still a sweetie for trying to get it for me!

Turns out, it’s a bit early for the listener thingy, all I can hear so far is my own digestion. Fascinating as it is, it’s not really what I was hoping to hear. I guess some day I need to learn patience, now’s as good a time as any.

So nothing new on the baby front, I suppose the tummy is getting a bit bigger, depending on what clothes I wear it’s more or less noticeable. I still have some sort of stomach upset at night, not sure if it’s my version of heartburn or what, but it’s still quite uncomfortable. Throughout the day I seem to be a lot better. Granted I’m still not able to stay up as late as I would like to at night.

On the home front, C is grounded again. He lied to us about having his homework done on Friday and got caught totally in it with a long note from his teacher. He lost his WoW privileges, and any ability to see the new Burning Crusade expansion until, well originally Friday. But then the very next day he managed to extend his grounding by another day by forgetting his homework at school. It’s totally frustrating, I know the kid is smart, he can spout information all day long, but ask him to write a simple sentence and he’s totally at a loss.

So what does his teacher do? Sends home 6! Assignments that are not done as she wants them. She wants the questions answered in “reflective” sentences. For one, what the hell is a reflective sentence? So I went through his assignments and figured well, let’s just get the answers written in even simple sentences. They were all answered in point form. But why could she not have sent these home when it was just 2 assignments? I mean now he has 6 to work on, and at the rate he works, it will take all weekend to get through them. It took him 2 hrs last night to get through about 14 questions (1 assignment). He’s already written the answers, but apparently writing them in the form of a sentence escapes him. I just don’t get it. I’m scared he’s going to be the kid in highschool who can barely read and write. Eventually this is going to really catch up to him. His marks are good now, but for how long?

So now we sit, he’s grounded until Saturday evening at the earliest, and that’s only if today and tomorrow go well at school and we don’t get any more nasty notes.

Oh and to top it off I started getting ahold of HR to sort out my mat leave. I’ll leave that for later, because it’s another thing that gets me hopping mad. Not work precisely, the HR department.

Other than that, I’m quite enjoying Burning Crusade J

12 weeks 6 days tummy

2007-01-13T19:10:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update so everyone can see my ginormous boobs and the bit of baby tummy. Also for any of my "web friends" who haven't seen my tattoo, you can also get a peep at that.

Meh

2007-01-11T14:09:00.000-07:00

Baby update

So yesterday was the doc’s appointment to followup the ultrasound last week. He confirmed that on January 8 the baby was 11weeks 4 days. Everything looked good. He tried to get a heartrate on the Doppler, but of course, baby wasn’t cooperating. He/she was running away and tumbling as fast as the doc scanned. He said he was able to get a heartbeat, but it was “transient”. He reassured me that babies at this age (12w3d yesterday) move around a lot, so it wasn’t surprising.

I’m also wondering about the baby moving thing. I read that you can feel movement as early as now, but I’m not getting too much. But, last night I felt a pulling/straining on some muscles at the front of my abdomen, wonder if that’s the baby pushing, or just my uterus growing. Interesting. Kind of like an achy muscle feeling.

Part of me is debating buying my own baby heartmonitoring thingy. You can get them at some maternity stores. Check this out.

http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=42151001&category_Name=Other+Accessories&Category_Id=1001&MasterCategory_Id=1

I may go on the weekend to see if the Motherhood Maternity store near where I’m having lunch has one of these. I think it would be so cool! WANT!

Family update

Let’s see. C’s back at school this week, so far so good *crosses fingers* We only had one minor incident with him not realizing he could undo his shoelaces to make his gym shoes more comfortable.

M’s website seems to be making progress; it’s nice to see him get a bit of relief after all the stress. He’s far from stress-free, but there’s some improvement.

My sister is having to have a C-section since her placenta is under the baby somehow which won’t allow a normal delivery. Found out that she’s going to be delivering (barring any problems) on my birthday. Isn’t that just hilarious?

Bear is as nutty as usual, my parents bought him a rawhide that’s about 3 feet long. He’s pulled the knots off both ends, but before he tore it apart it was a riot to watch him try to carry it up and down stairs. You’d think he’d grab it in the middle, but nope, he had to drag it by one end, the other end dragging along the wall.

Well that’s it for now I think, feel free to comment peoples with any questions you may want answered.

Short note

2007-01-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

Changed the ticker at the top to reflect the new due date. We'll see how long this one fits.

Picture #3

2007-01-04T15:02:00.000-07:00

So here you have it. Picture #3. Finally got the whole story as to why the 3rd ultrasound. Apparently on the other 2, the dates didn't quite match the size of the baby. This time things were much closer. My due date looks like it might be closer to July 24th than the 21st but that's ok.

It was cute, when she first tried to find the baby, she had to chase it. Heh, but apparently less pee is better as once the pressure was relieved ("here go pee out 2 cups and we'll try again") the baby settled right down.

He/she is currently approximately 5cm from "crown to rump" with a heartrate today of 167. The bright white patches are the jaw and nose forming. M and I got much clearer pictures as she was showing us realtime. We saw the nose, jaw, head, arms, legs, stomach, and umbilical cord. Oooo! We also saw the heart beating! Then we saw the baby wave "Hi" to us, and then proceed to try to stick it's hand in it's mouth (I think anyways).

I'm totally jazzed this afternoon, as finally finding out why the third u/s was necessary, and finding out that everything is proceeding as expected is a relief. And it's the first u/s I haven't cried at!

On the morning sickness note, it has lessened off a bit. Now it's more a "must eat now" stomach call. That's a little easier to handle.

Christmas chaos

2007-01-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

I could have blogged over the holidays, but I didn’t. And there’s a pretty good reason why.

Let’s see… so I’m suffering through my all day nausea on the 19th thinking that maybe we should just order supper. So I figure we’ll get Swiss Chalet, they’re pretty good with being able to pre-order form work and then pick it up on the way home. Since we already had to go that direction since the parts to my elliptical trainer came in and needed to be picked up as well. So we get out food (and it was delayed which is not normal for them, if I order for 5 it’s ready for 5). Get home, eat, relax, y’know, nice normal night… right…

So about midnight, I hear C get up and go to the bathroom, and well it doesn’t sound right. I hear him get up again an hour later. Then my stomach starts feeling funny. Lovely. C and I have ended up with food poisoning. M sleeps through the whole of the night’s events with C and I taking turns in the bathroom. Thank goodness for 3 bathrooms in the house. Around 4am it’s getting so bad for me that I’m sitting there on the throne and getting sick and suddenly all I hear/feel is this wooshing sound and bam! I wake up under my bathroom vanity. I fainted? I can’t believe I bloody fainted! So now here I am, laying on the bathroom floor, not sure if I should move, calling out to M to wake him up, cause he slept through that too. Finally getting him up, and getting myself together, M calls capital health to see if I need to go into emerg. Food poisoning + 10 weeks pregnant isn’t a great combo. They said, no I didn’t sound dehydrated, so I could just rest at home and to come in only if I started showing signs of dehydration. Oh and did I mention I bashed my head too? Yeah, lovely “road rash” next to my left eye. So we pulled out the hide-a-bed in the basement and C and I took turns running to the downstairs bathroom all day. Luckily by the evening we were able to sleep and the next day we spent sleeping and eating crackers and drinking Gatorade.

This was not my plans to spend the last few days before the holidays. I had work to do that I had to beg off to other people in the lab, and I felt like a total poop. C made it back to school on the 22nd for his half day before the holidays.

It took a lot longer for me to get back to feeling anywhere near normal with the weakness from the food poisoning, and the nausea. Most of the rest of the holidays were spent on the cough watching tv. I had to nap every afternoon to even be able to function by dinner time. Even Christmas day at my parents I had to lay down. I managed to have a bit of dinner there, but was really happy to get home.

On a good note, had another doc’s appt on the 29th. We heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time (we’ve just seen it on the ultrasounds). The doc warned us he might not be able to find it as it’s still early, but he did… for a few seconds we listened to the most amazing sound!

New Year’s we did really quietly. P&B came over for a few hours and we ordered pizza and watched X-men 3. Then they took off and C, M and I watched more tv until midnight when C and I collapsed into bed. Thank goodness for napping!

New Year’s day, M’s dad invited/ordered us over for the turkey dinner he didn’t get Christmas day because someone turned off the turkey at noon and no one noticed until 3pm. Managed to eat not too bad there, and wanted ice cream for dessert, so M took me to 7-11 for ice cream, he’s a sweetie.

And well today, I’m back at work.

We have arms! And legs! And a head!

2006-12-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

So, this is ultrasound #2. Ultrasound #1 wasn't really postworthy, really just a little squiggle. As you can see we have arms, and if you squint you can see legs. I can see them on the actual picture I have at home. C calls it "our peanut in an egg".

I'm finally starting to feel slightly better, or as others say, I'm learning to manage the nausea. I find I have to sleep at least 10 hrs to make it easier in the morning, so I'm going to bed at the same time as C right now. I've also finally trained myself to eat first thing when I got up... that was a battle and a half with my body. So now I find if I "graze" throughout the day, it isn't too bad.

I managed to go out for dinner with the family and P&B for S's birthday yesterday and made it through dinner without feeling too ill.

I can still do up my pants (at least until I get home from work - then it's nice to undo them) for the time being. I went looking at maternity jeans at Old Navy, what the hell is it with everything being low-rise? C'mon people, women over 30 don't want to leave everything hanging out anymore! And well, if they do, chances are they shouldn't be doin it. So I guess for now I'll stay in my own jeans until I can't get 'em on anymore, and also wearin sweatpants around the house.

Other than that, Christmas is kinda not going the way I wanted it to this year. I've just been too sick to do anything. I usually put my tree up the first weekend of December. It finally got put together yesterday. I also usually have my shopping done, my gifts wrapped... well my shopping's mostly done, C&M need to get out and do theirs, I haven't wrapped a single thing. I try not to let it get me down, cause I know I have this baby growing who kind of needs my energy more than my, but it is frustrating. My house is a mess, I'm behind on laundry, I haven't been able to play WoW in weeks for more than an hour at a time.

Ok, now I've dissolved into whining... time to get back to work!

Morning/All day sickness

2006-12-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

SUCKS!

This is how annoyed I am with it. (sigh) At least I'm not puking. Just CONSTANTLY nautious. (Is that how you spell it? it doesn't look right).

Apparently my cervix is easily pissed off

2006-12-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

Warning: Contains graphic girl information

Yeah, there's a topic. To follow my most recent day of panic.

Wednesday I had a little bit of "color" on the tp. Thursday it was more, enough to wear a pad to work. Of course, I go into panic mode, c'mon you're not supposed to be bleeding when you're pregnant, that's one of the bonuses! At least this wasn't red, it was brown, so therefor "old blood". I still called capital health to hope that they could calm me down, and while she was a bit reassuring (do you have cramps? no? ok that's good) she still told me to go to my doc within 72 hrs, which might be the standard response I hear. So I get into work and immediately at 9 call my doc. Luckily he can see me at 4:15.

So I stew all day yesterday, paranoid every time I go to the bathroom (which is getting more often since I'm supposed to drink 64oz of water a day and I'm not used to it). The "bleeding" seemed to be slowing down throughout the day. By the time I got to the doc it wasn't bad at all.

He did a "mini-internal", took some swabs to rule out infections, and said he saw some blood on the outside of my cervix. Now I've been told before that I have a "fragile cervix" 'cause after my annual exams I generally have bleeding. Also, if I walk for prolonged periods of time (>2hrs) I tend to have some bleeding. So maybe all I did is move/stretch/slip wrong and it got mad again and burst a capillary? I hope that's all it is. No calls from the doc so I'm guessing no infection. Good.

'course he did warn me, that the exam was going to make me bleed again... and yup there's more brown. Hoping it tapers off (seems to be a bit) over the weekend. He's going to do a pap on monday at my prenatal which is gonna fire it up all over again, but at least if we know that my cervix is as emotional as I am right now we can compensate for it.

Anyways, for all you (1 person) who reads this blog, cross your fingers for me that things are all ok. I'm still a bit on edge. Man, I need to figure a way to relax.

Mixed feelings

2006-11-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

So now it's out there. Guess I need to post more eh?

This week has definately begun to have some queeziness... If it stays at this point for "morning sickness" it won't be too bad. S suggested carbs to help with it, so I tried a piece of toast and butter this morning before heading out the door, made it 3/4 of the way to work on the bus that was taking forever before I started feeling ill, and even at that point it wasn't too bad.

'course now some of the worrying sets in. I bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting" this weekend and started reading. I sometimes wonder if it's better to go head first with your eyes closed than open sometimes. Now I'm worried about the weight gain, nutrition, exercise etc. Pretty much am I eating the right foods? I've never been one to eat totally properly and I know now is the time to do it, but am I choosing the right stuff? I'm paranoid that I'm going to end up gaining too much weight and end up with gestational diabetes.

And well then there's exercise. I bought an elliptical cross-trainer a couple of weeks ago with the best of intentions, and when I went to assemble it, there were parts missing, and improperly drilled. So upon calling the company, they said they'd ship the parts out to me. Yay! Now 2 weeks later I phone them to see where the parts are and they tell me one of them is back ordered. Y'think they could have called maybe? So who knows, by the time the parts finally arrive, I'm gonna weigh too much to use the damn thing until the baby gets here.

I think perhaps today is just a negative day.

Issues remain with C and his homework, and right now my moods just aren't up to handling a kid who doesn't want to do anything that doesn't interest him. Maybe today will be better. Getting a note from the teacher saying he didn't do any work in class is rather frustrating.

Very fragmented thoughts today. I'm really tired, and I think I need to get to bed before 11pm. Must find more relaxing books to read before bed.

News!

2006-11-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

If you see the top of my blog you will see our newest news! Squee!

In lieu of not having time to post at the moment, I'll leave you with my thoughts the day I found out.

----------
November 17, 2006

I saw a plus! I’d been feeling “weird” for a little while now. Not sick really, just weird. M and I went to the CFR and I cried during the Canadian anthem… I mean almost sobs, I couldn’t get control of myself until well into the first event. And well when one of the cowboys got hurt, there it went again.

Tuesday I realized that “hmmm should be period week”. I double checked my records, cause yeah, after our experience before, I’ve been recording these things. According to my records I was due for it on Monday. So I thought, ok, maybe just this ookieness is that… I mean PMS and all eh? So we go through Tuesday, Wednesday, and now I’m starting to wonder. Thursday I decided to go buy some pregnancy home tests… I figure at least that will make me stop with the “possible scenarios” hope.

So this morning I pee on the stick. And wait, and not even 30 seconds into the incubation time I see a plus. I race out of the bathroom to wake M up. He can barely see straight and I ask him what he sees. He’s like, “I have no idea what I’m looking at”, and “Did you just hand me a stick with pee on it?”. I ask him if he sees a plus. He says yes, and I explain what that might mean.

I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon to get the appropriate bloodtests done. I’m scared, and more than that exctatic! I want to tell the world, but I can’t. Not yet. We have to make sure that this little one is going to “stay”. I’m hoping because I actually noticed it that this one might. It’s hard not to get my hopes up, and I alternate between laughing, and shaking, and wanting to cry.

According to all the calculators, I’m 5 weeks today. No morning sickness yet, and well the adrenaline is taking care of the sleepies. I’m always tired, so that’s nothing out of the ordinary. Will I be blessed with a puke-free pregnancy? We can hope. No food cravings or avoidances either yet. I feel a little bit bloated, but that’s about it. They say your breasts are supposed to get sore, but mine aren’t really. Maybe a tiny bit more sensisitve, but hard to say. Mostly I “know” they are there. When I snuggle up to M’s back, I can feel them more than normal? But maybe that’s all psychosomatic.

I hope to write my thoughts here as I think of them. Perhaps to keep a record of this. I want to take a picture of the pee stick, is that wrong? (chuckle)

I’m also debating the “tummy pictures” progression, if only for my family and friends. As much as I hate taking my picture taken, I want to record this. I never thought I’d think this way about being pregnant.

Heh, to show how this has totally altered my thinking. When I saw that plus, I didn’t even think about “how are we going to do this, how to pay for it, etc”, it was “OMG! I can’t wait 2 more months to tell people! I want to shout it from the rooftops!”

I thought the happiest day of my life was the day I got married. This is pulling an awful close second!

November 20, 2006

Got confirmation from the doc! It's official!

Blogger Beta

2006-10-27T09:11:00.000-06:00

Well I have to say I'm liking this version. I'm rather inept at html and stuff like that, so being able to add links without having to worry about that makes me happy.

I've added some links to some more web comics I've found along the way that ticked my funnybone at one time or another.

A funny in the morning is a good thing

2006-10-19T15:03:00.000-06:00

My baby sister sent me this in an email this morning...

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's if:
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.
Ok, I never did that one... that I can recall anyway

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
That's another one if those, that perhaps if there was nothing else on.

3. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton.
Nope can't sing the rap, but I did watch the show with some regularity.

4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
That would involve me wearing a skirt, like that ever happened back then.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
Ok, this one shows me that I was born in the 70's, early enough to be too old for the Baby-sitters club books.

6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
Nope, but I had friends who did.

7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.
Hell yeah! Ok ok, I admit it, I watched Blossom.

8. Two words: Hammer Pants.
Heh, we still joke about those nowadays.

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock".
Loved it!

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and spokey-dokes or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.
Hmmm I remember wanting plastic streamers, don't think I actually got them though.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales" (Woo ooh!).
Nope.

12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
Of course it was, there was a D&D cartoon!

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
Ummm yeah, been there, did that.

14. You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen..and still know the turtles names.
Raphael, Donatello, and Michaelangelo right?

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
Never heard of this one.

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
Heh, nope! I tied up my own shirts!

17. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House).
This seems vaguely familiar, but I just can't place it.

18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
Probably.

19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?
Always wanted those shoes.

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten. (She's Truly Outrageous.)
Nope, but maybe the baby sister did.

21. You remember reading Tales of a fourth grade nothing and all The Ramona books.
I think I might have, but then again, I read alot of books.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
Hee hee of course! And I had a crush on the bad guy.

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
Lol!

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
Fluorescent t-shirts ftw!

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
Yup

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
Of course!

27. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard.
Wasn't allowed the cards, but I remember 'em.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
Nope.

29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
Nope, but I remember it.

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
Watch 'em sweat!

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
Nah, Corey Hart!

32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
That's one cartoon I never really watched.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
I used to spend hours making those.

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
Oh probably.

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
Ug, yes.

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
And how way overused it was.

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
Hey that was my first date!

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
Of course! Who put a fence there?

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
My favorite was the one with the strawberry on the end.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
Of course!

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
Um, yeah.

42. You remember Popples.
Nope.

43. Don't worry, be happy.
Hee hee and attempting to remember all the funny noises he made in that song.

44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
Never went that far

45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do..getting yelled at by younger hip members of the family)
Slouch socks!

46. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
I remember asking for a blue one for Christmas. P still has it.

47. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
Yeah, and the first one scared the crap out of me.

48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
Oh yeah.

49. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and & My Little Pony Tales.
My little pony! They were almost horses.

50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
Doogie!

51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
Hee hee yup watched that one.

52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB"
They were the middle sister's passion.

53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class.
Ummm yeah, and Zach was hot.

54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
Know the song, not all the words.

55. You just sang those words to yourself.
Of course, well the words I remember.

56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
Blech, basketball.

57. Homemade Levi shorts. (the shorter the better)
Nah, I was never skinny enough

58. You remember when mullets were cool!
They were?

59. You had a mullet!
Hell no!

60. You still sing "We are the World"
Nope :)

61. You tight rolled your jeans.
Yep!

62. You owned a bannana clip.
Heck, I still have 'em... Great for 80's parties!

63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"
Unfortunately

64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"
Oh, probably sometime in the past... I liked that show!

65. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
Not near as big as the middle sister (Who actually lit her bangs on fire from a kerosene lantern)

66. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!
I wasn't until I re-read this...

Surreality?

2006-10-16T09:38:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had a day/evening where your life felt totally surreal?

I had one of those last night. Sitting on the couch watching a fluffy movie it just hit me. Maybe it was because of the nightmare I had Saturday night, I'm not sure.

Let's start with the nightmare. It put me off my mood all day Sunday. I dreamed that M came home from work (security? hmmm past-tense dream?), and announced that he was leaving me. No reason, just he was leaving. We weren't in our current house, but some other "house". I went into a panic of what I was going to do, how I was going to afford the morgage etc. I don't know why this is a recurring nightmare for me, but it comes every few months.

So there I am last night, sitting on the couch in awe of the fact that I am married to someone I never thought would even glance my way (he was way too cute for me) and that I am totally heads over heels in love with, we have made a life and family together and plan to one day expand on that family. We have a gorgeous home, and enough money to live comfortably.

I'm still unsettled today, and would like to do nothing more than curl up on the couch with the fireplace on and M's arms around me.

Perhaps it's the weather... perhaps it's that I haven't been sleeping well. I find I can't fall completely asleep until M comes to bed recently. No matter how exhausted I am, I am in a "half-doze" until he gets into bed and I can curl up with him. Obviously my mind is needing some sort of reassurance... but for why?

Post Thanksgiving

2006-10-13T10:21:00.000-06:00

So... The turkey was prepared, cooked and eaten. No one got sick! I think it could have been taken out a bit early, but the in-laws came over in a panic that the 19lb turkey had to go in by 10am! (LOL) Everything we read said 5 hrs. So to eat at 5ish it should go in around noon right? Right. Ah well, the turkey was done almost an hour before the rest of the stuff. Guess we'll know by next year.

We had both sets of in-laws over, and a set of M's grandparents. C was a total beast behaviourwise, apparently when other people show up he turns into an attention desperate idiot. I was not pleased. Then he got so wound up he started throwing temper tantrums. C'mon, you're almost 10! Geeze! Anyways, he got a talking to, and settled down a little. Once all the family left he was back to his old self.

Also, M is getting some movement back in the side of his face. Not much yet, but more than before! Very exciting :)

That's about all the excitement for us during the last week. Taryn, drop me an email you holiday person. Sorry about the party, I just couldn't get M up to going out to a big gathering quite yet. Plus there's now the issue of needing a babysitter, I don't think the inlaws are terribly organized in their new place yet. They had to buy a new bed, since their old one didn't fit in the bedroom. :o

Yes I'm still alive

2006-10-04T08:40:00.000-06:00

I'm still here, just haven't felt like blogging in awhile. This past month to month and a half have probably been some of the worst months of my life other than when my dad had his strokes. I am slowly coming to terms with things, and begining the healing process, but it will take time.

For all you out there (well the 1 that reads this blog) everyone is well, including the Bear, so no worries there.

I think soon will be time to get together with some friends... and omg, M suggested we host Thanksgiving this year, so we're going to have a zoo at our place. Thank goodness I bought a 6' table for sewing a couple of weeks ago.

Anyone know how to cook a turkey? :)

Being thankful for what I have

2006-08-22T09:58:00.000-06:00

So, events last night brought me with a speedy slam into reality. Turns out I’m going to be an aunt. Yup, the sister out east has gone and gotten herself pregnant. I know I’m supposed to be all excited, squealy, and happy right? But I’m not. I’m jealous. She has always seemed to get everything in life so easily.

Then again, as I was reminded over and over last night, things that come easily are not appreciated near as much as those that come from true hard work. This is true, I value my family and everything I’ve surrounded myself with because I’ve busted my ass for it. Yes, including my husband. He’ll even admit that.

I think it was a shock to me last night, because I figured of all of us, she’d never actually do it. I mean, it would ruin her perfect body y’know?

Also, it really hurt that when my mom phoned to tell me the news, she was positively giddy. I can not think of one instance in my whole life where my mom was that giddy about me. I have to stop trying to live up to my mother’s expectations… I’ll never reach them, and I there’s days I can accept that… then there’s others. That kind of conversation with her makes me want to cut off contact with her totally, but I can’t. I love my dad too much to do that. He comes in and saves the day… he gets on the phone and the first thing he asks me, is about me. He wants to know what M and I are doing for our anniversary on Friday. He’s even willing to take C for the evening for us.

So all in all, I feel like a heel for being jealous of my sister, but the situation is nothing new. I think I’ve been jealous of her and her achievements my whole life. At some point, I have to realize my own achievements. And it takes an awakening like this to slap me in the face with reality again.

M explained it very well last night. We have chosen to go through our lives together smelling the roses. My sister has chosen to go through her life running from finish line to finish line. And last night I got upset because she beat me once again to the finish line. But wait…wasn’t I smelling roses? I have been happier in the past year than I have in longer than I can remember. I need to take my antihistamines and get back to my roses.

I have a wonderful family, a husband who loves me, a great little step-son, an exceptional dog, a gorgeous house, a good job that allows me the freedom and income to do what hobbies I want to. A supportive family (on the odd occasion), a good family-in law who often step in when my family is lacking.

I’ve got it pretty damn good.

I'm amazed my parents ever took us to K-days more than once

2006-07-24T15:19:00.000-06:00

So... brain is completely melted with yet another heat wave. Last week was pretty uneventful. Camp was easy to get to, grandmother picked C up all week after camp so I just had the morning ride.

Only real entertainment, if you can call it such, is the dog getting sick.... all over the living room... and horribly, his digested kibble is almost the same color as the carpet. With his last health scare M called me home from work to clean up/watch the dog so he could go to his doc's appt. Doggy's fine, by the next day he was right back to normal. My mom figures perhaps something from the last digestive upset moved and perhaps he's now passed it.

C's camp last week was a "science" camp so he made all sorts of strange goop, and got to go to the Space Science Center (Telus center or whatever now) for a day. He seemed to like it mostly, except for the part where they had to "sit and watch the ceiling for an hour and a half while waiting for the bus" in the astronomy theater.

The house is freaking hot. Have I mentioned that? Thank goodness we have a basement to hide in now, but even that gets sticky and hot after awhile.

We had a wonderful thunderstorm at about 6am this morning. And perfectly timed, the rain and everything stopped before I had to leave to trek across the city to this weeks camp. Next time I'm checking addresses more closely, this one is in bloody Lessard! Now for those who know us, we live in the NORTH! Lessard is on the SOUTH and west too. But strangely enough it took the same amount of time to get there as it did to get downtown, go figure. This week tho, with it not being downtown, we're on our own to pick the kid up. Which means today I get to drive to get him as M is the most senior person at work tonight to wrap stuff up. Should be fun, driving the whitemud twice in 1 day... wow more than I usually do it in a summer!

Oh and yes, as to the title. We took C and a friend P and his son S with us to K-days. I remember it being much more fun as a kid I guess. I hadn't gone in a few years, and now I remember why. It's gotten rather boring. Even the "market" was small and not near as much fun. We did watch the bellydancers who are preforming this year, that was worthwhile, except for the "I'm boreds" echoing from the boys after about 20 mins. I think they enjoyed themselves for the most part. Both panned for gold, C was shown how by one of the people there and so had one nugget found for him, then he found his own, and very nicely shared with S who got fed up and dumped his pan. M and I looked at hottubs, still playing with the idea of putting one in, now we have a bit more info of what we'd need to do first even tho the company's tubs were rather expensive.

Other than that, I'm getting a tan *cry* I can't wait for winter, or at least the fall!

Over the hump and down the...

2006-07-13T09:21:00.000-06:00

So, it's Thursday. I finally get the route to camp mapped out in my brain only to have 1 more day to drive it. Then a new one on Monday. Ah well. At least I get to do a lot of riding.

M had a talk with C, and things have been steadily improving with his morning rituals. Today the only thing he needed "reminding" was to brush his teeth. Wow the kid has wicked breath if he doesn't. Hate to see it when he hits puberty. He's also having major troubles locking the door. He needs to be able to do it for school at the end of august since we'll be leaving before him in the morning. Any suggestions? Should we replace the lock with a keypad? Use the bottom pushlock only? (That's what we did in the old house). Any other ideas?

Also to my ladies, it's YaYa time! Let's find a time. :)

Was the baby sister's b-day yesterday, hard to believe she's 27. She bought herself a new car which is great. Was also nice to see my dad get out to a restaurant, I don't think he's been out too much since he got sick. But good reports from the orthopedic doc on his shoulder replacement and the correctional cardiac procedure will be done next month hopefully.

At work we graduated another PhD from the lab. We have 1 grad student left, it's getting small. And in september it's going to get quiet. Very quiet. Part of me is curious as to what's going to happen around here, and part of me wonders if I should be looking to move on. I don't really want to rock the boat at the moment since I've got it really good here, but how long do you hold onto the boat?

Well, just some morning thoughts...

Tomorrow

2006-07-11T15:08:00.000-06:00

Well this morning was an improvement over yesterday, although not by much. C didn't set his alarm, so he slept in and we had to haul him out of bet at 7am. Then while getting dressed he goes "I have no pants", I lost it at that point because his father and I had just spent time putting all his pants away on the weekend, and he has 3 bloody drawers of them! So I just told him to keep looking, and lo' he found some.

He did remember his lunch and his water bottle. The lunch I think he only remembered because M looked in the fridge while he was in the kitchen.

On a good note, one of the camp leaders told us that C was really well behaved, polite, and even got a shy kid to participate yesterday. So I hope that camp at least goes well.

I'm not enjoying having to drive cross-city for the damn camp, but if he enjoys it, it's worth it.

Now tonight I have a BBQ at the boss's house to celebrate a PhD defense... gonna be a long night.

Is it bad?

2006-07-10T11:01:00.000-06:00

To feel relief at going back to work after my holidays?

Sad to say it, but I'm happy to be back. Going headfirst this past week into step-mom'dom hasn't been a picnic. Not only am I still under all the stress of moving, I have this kid who can't seem to do anything without my express instruction. He's a great kid, but it's gonna drive me nuts if he can't find his own mind soon.

I know it takes time to get settled, thanks for the words of support C! It just feels like I'm trying to do too much all at once, and getting nothing done. I don't feel like I accomplished anything on my holidays except to get more stressed out. I still feel like just sitting and crying at the hopelessness of it all. I know I'm probably having a downswing, since as much as I like change, my body hates it.

It's all I can do to get myself organized, and then to have someone who can't do anything on his own really is hard on me. Here's how this morning went...

C turned off his alarm, so therefor didn't get up when he was supposed to. I'm getting tired of waking everyone up so I stayed in bed until 7. At 7, I rolled out of bed, as did M. C was just getting dressed, I told him to hustle and go eat. I went to get ready. M had to run out the door to get to work.

I finished getting ready, asked C if he ate anything "yeah, a banana". Well at least it's something. Did he feed the dog? No... so tell him to go feed the dog. Tell him to get his backpack. Ask him if he has his waterbottle? No... go get your waterbottle.

I start loading my bike up and tell him to get his jacket. "Where's my jacket?" "If you were a jacket where would you be?" So I finish loading up my bike, find his riding gloves etc. Go back into the house, he's wandering around in his helmet and jacket, no shoes. I go to find my jacket. He's tossed/knocked it on the floor while trying to get his down. I get my jacket on, tell him to get his shoes on. Let the dog in. Fill the waterbottle that's still in the dishwasher (which was full of rotting jujubes by the way).

Grab all my things, get him out the door, lock the door. Ask him where his waterbottle is, as he's come out the door empty handed. Back in he goes to get his water bottle. Out he comes. Send him back to lock the door. He gets on my bike without warning, almost toppling us. Gets in trouble for that. Then I realize he doesn't have his gloves on. Off the bike to get his gloves.

Finally we get moving. 10 mins into the ride I realize that I'm probably going the really long way to get to this damn summer camp that's downtown. Oh well. 5 mins later I realize that I should bet money on the fact that C hasn't put his lunch in his bag either. And top it off, the kid has ants in his pants, which is real bad when on the back of a motorcycle.

I pull over into a Macs store and ask him where his lunch is. He hangs his head. Shit. This is not what I need today. So in we go to the Macs to buy him a sandwich. And.... they don't have any.

So back we get on the bike, and head towards this school, I'm thinking there's got to be some other Macs/7-11 on the way. Finally I spot another one. We pop in there, and 9 bucks later he has food for lunch.

Finally I get to the area where this school is supposed to be... I see churches, churches and senior centers... round and round the block and I finally find the school. It's already later than I wanted to get there (stupid me, thought I could get there for 8). We go in and end up in the daycare section of the school... guh, finally with a bunch of directions we find the gymnasium where they're having the camp and I can finally drop C off. I give them the new phone number, tell them his grandmother is picking him up and finally get on my way to work.

By now I am totally soaked with sweat not only with heat, but just stress in general. I finally get into the lab at 8:45am. Not happy. But lovely G has bought me a Timmy's coffee! And my sweet hubby is very supportive when I whine at him about the morning.

I understand this whole step-mom thing is going to have a lot of growing pains, but I just don't know what to do. I mean, I know I'm not doing it by myself, but recently I feel like it's been all me and I'm beginning to resent it. Must speak to M to see if we can come up with something else.

I only hope tomorrow goes better.

FINALLY!

2006-07-06T14:14:00.000-06:00

Some rain! And it's a bit cooler, and I can almost walk around the new house.

I don't like living in chaos, I find it quite upsetting for some reason. I'm tired of the mess, and I know it just takes time to get organized, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to just sit and cry in the middle of the afternoon. At least today is cooler, and I feel like I can actually do some organizing.

We have our bedroom mostly set up, slight downside to this place, is the master bedroom doesn't have near enough closet space for 2 people. So we've got 2 chests of drawers and a dresser full of clothes. That's going to take some getting used to for me, M used to live like that all the time, he never hung stuff up in a closet.

C's room is a disaster zone, that kid has so many clothes, he doesn't need anything new except maybe underwear until he grows out of a size 12. Considering he's wearing a 7 or so at the moment, I think it'll be awhile. He has more clothing than me and M put together. So we're still trying to juggle how to put all his clothes away. I think I'm going to take my parents' methods with the bedroom... it's his place, and he has to deal with it, so we will just close the door if it's messy. He's not allowed to do that anywhere else in the house, if he makes a mess playing in the rumpus room he has to clean it up.

We even lucked into some free living room furniture from my aunt who is moving this week as well. A couch and chair which we go pick up tonight. I also want to take a look at her dining room set which she might part with for some cash... all depends on how much cash she wants as to whether we decide to take it. There's always the bargain finder.

So maybe the stress level is coming down, maybe not. It's hard to say. I've been living on a sore stomach for so long I'm getting used to it.

M's back at work this week, it's taking some getting used to just being me and C. I value independance, and he's never had to be. But M and I decided, he's had enough babying in his 9 years, it's time he learned to microwave food, tie his own shoes, make his own lunch, etc. It feels harsh to me, but I think it's just because he's been so coddled. His grandfather's favorite word for how C was raised. Can't knock his grandmother, that's what they do ;) It's just they're not normally raising a child 24/7.

So that's where we stand for now. I'm back to work next week, and part of me will be relieved to get back, at least to get away from the mess here for awhile. Even though it's going to make the evenings rougher.

Moved

2006-07-03T20:18:00.000-06:00

Moved, but far from settled. Many many thank you's to all who helped!

EEK!

2006-06-27T20:35:00.000-06:00

Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot too hot!

Moving in 1.5 days, eek!

Ok now I'm pissed

2006-06-21T12:30:00.000-06:00

I HATE PUSHY PEOPLE! There, I had to get that out.

I called a certain internet provider to cancel my account with them, we're moving, we thought we'd try something new (*GASP*). I had to almost hang up on the guy who decided to tell me all the negatives of another internet provider even though I didn't tell him who we are going with, and would not let me get off the phone. I'm still debating calling back to make a complaint, but why should I waste my time with them even further? I mean, you'd think, I'm calling to cancel, it should take all of 5 minutes right? Apparently not. Hell, even if the new provider doesn't work out, there's no way I even want to think about going back after this guy. They totally blew a customer, good thing we decided we don't watch enough TV to put up with them for that either.

I so need my holidays... 2 more days... after today that is...

Now I've gone and done it

2006-06-20T16:03:00.000-06:00

Heh, nothing bad. I figured since I'm finding friends blogs on livejournal I'd set up an account there. I probably won't use the journal part of it, but another way to keep in touch. Perhaps I should put a link... one of these days

ENOUGH ALREADY!

2006-06-14T16:17:00.001-06:00

Ok, we've decided that we've had enough bad luck. 10 years worth in 3 months... That's it.. no more!

World crashing down

2006-06-14T16:17:00.000-06:00

So it seems I only update this thing when bad things are going on. Perhaps that’s the only time I need to vent. Who knows, I’m not the most opinionated person around, so I don’t get into any big debates.

So, the bad things.

I get home from work Friday to find that Bear hasn’t eaten his breakfast, now he’s done this before, so I wasn’t too concerned. Then, while we were eating dinner, and told him to “lay down” cause otherwise he begs at the table, it looked like he was having trouble laying down. So then Saturday he still won’t eat much, he has a cookie but he’s really slow to eat it. He’s still drinking, so we’re just thinking ok, his stomach’s upset, we’ll see how it passes. (I totally forgot that the vet is open on Saturday).

Sunday comes and he’s getting worse. He just lays around, barely lifting his head, I have to hold a dish of water for him, and he doesn’t even want to drink unless I poke wet fingers at him. Now I’m starting to panic. I call my parents and get the go ahead to call the vet at home/on his cell.

I call the vet and we drag him out at 5pm Sunday night.

Bear gets up to get into the car, but won’t get out at the vets… we carry him in. The vet examines him, notes that his temperature is up, and his gums and tongue seem pale. He begins discussing hemolytic anemia. Downright scary. He draws some blood, gives Bear shots of cortisone, heparin, and antibiotics. He tells us to watch him and bring him back in the morning. He’ll send the bloodwork off first thing in the morning.

So, meanwhile, the hubby is having some health issues of his own (I won’t share since they are his to tell people) but he’s not mentioning much because I am totally hanging onto the dog.

We take the dog to the vet Monday morning, and the hubby to the doctor. Get the hubby’s diagnosis and then go home to wait for the dog’s. Meanwhile we sign the papers at the lawyers for the sale of our house (yay). I call the vets and he says that Bear is stable enough to go home, I can come by around 5. So I go to pick him up and spend an hour at the vets both waiting for him and then talking to him.

The blood tests show not hemolytic anemia (phew!), but no other explanation either. Bear has perked up a fair bit at this point, he no longer has a fever, and he’s wagging his tail again. The vet suggests we do a check on his kidney function because his urine was quite dilute. So I say go ahead, and wait all day Tuesday for that news.

Get home, doggy seems much happier. He even eats dinner (half then half two hours later to make sure he doesn’t get sick) and drinks a fair amount of water. We’re waiting for him to go to the bathroom to check how things are doing since the original theory was he ate some blanket and maybe that was upsetting his system. ‘course the dog won’t go while we’re watching.

Then the hubby gets a MAJOR nasty headache so off we go back to the docs calling in the mom-in-law to watch the munchkin and the dog.

Needless to say it was a late night Monday. I let all of us sleep in Tuesday morning getting the kid to school 10 mins before his bell. I went to work for half the day and went home to see how the hubby was doing around lunchtime.

Doggy is still improving, he ate his breakfast, but we didn’t see that he’d gone to the bathroom though. So still a bit concerned.

Called the vet to find out that the kidney function tests (protein creatinine ratio) was normal (PHEW) so no kidney damage.

Finally! After dinner, doggy went to the bathroom. Anyone who is not an animal owner may not understand the fascination with doggy doo, but when your animal is sick there’s not much you can go on.

And again, this morning. Seems the inner workings are functioning. Doggy seems perky.

The vet says all we can do is wait. It could have been totally spontaneous, it could have been the blanket, it could have been something disagreeing with his system (garbage, someone threw something over the fence), minor toxicity (ant poison? – we aren’t using any) etc. He had one other suspicion which is called Addison’s disease which is an adrenal gland disorder, but because Bear was given cortisone Sunday and Monday, we need to wait for about a week for it to clear his system to see if he’s having troubles producing his own cortisone.

So the past few days have been a real wake up to the reality of Bear’s age (he will be 8 next month) and I have realized that I would much rather he go in his sleep than watch him fade. My mom says we will know when it is time, but I still dread that day.

I am very grateful for the time I’ve been given with Bear, and I hope that we have at least a few more years. I was so scared this weekend that he wouldn’t make it to Sunday night.

So now I have a doggy on antibiotics, and a hubby on a variety of medications. Both are mending and so is my world. For a day or two there I wasn’t sure where my world was going, but pieces were crashing around me before I could catch them.

So everyone, be thankful for your health, and that of those you care about.

And dammit it’s raining again and I forgot my rainpants at home… gonna be a wet ride home.

Oopsy... from Friday

2006-05-29T08:57:00.000-06:00

More real estate stress…

We were told that there were 2 appraisals needed on our current house (for the buyer’s 2 mortgage companies – confusing). The first appraisal went nicely on time, and a very pleasant lady all round. The second… well that’s another story.

This guy, Rick, phoned me at work at 6:30pm (go figure I wasn’t there). So I returned his call the next day, left him a voicemail, which he never returned. This was probably about 3 weeks ago now. He calls me last night on my cell after 6 (again!). I return his call. He says we need to get this appraisal done, so I say of course, and we will need an evening appointment. Well at this point he gets all huffy. I say, well perhaps a weekend? He gets even more pissed and says “I work 60 hrs a week as it is, if I work more I may as well get a divorce.” This is not my problem!

I was told when he first contacted my agent that I could make the appointment at my discretion, and not to go out of my way to take time off work, etc. So, that’s what I did. Then he says “Don’t you want to sell your house?” which puts me into a panic. “Our house is sold, they take possession June 30,” I say. He then responds “Well if they don’t get their money then your house isn’t sold” So now I’m having a fit. He finally agrees to come at 4:45pm almost 2 weeks from now. M’s trying to stay calm and calm me down as well.

I phone my agent (who is awesome!) and have him paged, twice. Poor guy. He was at the hockey game. He calls me back, I explain the situation. My agent reassures me, and even volunteers to deal with this guy. So this morning I gave him the guy’s contact info, we’ll see what happens.

But on a good news note, the house we bought in St. Albert has increased in value by $25,000 since we bought it, and we haven’t even moved in yet.

Thank goodness for Ya Ya tonight. Good company, good food and cheesecake!

May? Where'd May go?

2006-05-24T10:08:00.000-06:00

Well things improved, and then they didn’t. There was some confusion on Friday about where C was going after school. Suffice to say, he got himself grounded a bit again for the weekend. Essentially stuck inside all weekend helping us at the mother-in-laws getting her house ready to put on the market.

On that, I think yesterday I finally saw some progress in how the house was shaping up. You can’t park even a motorcycle in their oversized double garage, but the house looks nice and roomy. This is what we’ve been spending our past few weekends doing this all consuming project. If anything it has been a lesson in how not to let out house fall into disrepair. I love my mother in law, but omg I’ve been wanting to pull my hair out.

It has taken a number of people about month to get this house cosmetically acceptable to show. The electrical sucks, but that is beyond us, and hopefully the roof is being redone, so that’s a good thing.

Our house is of course, falling apart during all this. By the time we get home, all we want to do is climb on the computers for about an hour of WoW, and then fall into bed.

That’s about what my past week has been, a blur of paint, pain, moving things, etc…

Let’s hope this week is calmer. M’s b-day is today and I want to take him out for dinner and have a relaxing evening. Tomorrow the real estate agent is supposed to come by, if the mom-in-law remembered to phone him.

Oh and to top it off, I went to the doc to get my wrists checked out, I'd been having some numbness while riding my bike... bingo, carpal tunnel (however it's spelled) so now I get to sleep with my wrists splinted straight. I guess it's better than needing surgery right away, perhaps we can correct it before it gets too much worse.

Yesterday was a good day

2006-05-12T11:44:00.000-06:00

Wednesday:

So talked to C's teacher finally around 4pm on Wed. His behaviour has been better, although he's now turned into the class pig. Tossing his coat, bag, etc on the floor rather than hanging them up. When confronted with this, he says some other kid has been using his hook. We told him if that keeps up to talk to his teacher rather than just leave his stuff on the floor, we'll see I guess.

Then C put his foot so far in his mouth that he couldn't get it out. Hard way to learn to think before you speak, but nothing else has been getting through his head. C asked if he could go to the dog park with a friend, M said "but you have soccer tonight, do you still want to keep playing? or shall I take you off the team". C chose to be taken off the team and ran off to the park with is friend. Upon getting home and settling down, I asked who was going to call coach to say that C was not going to continue playing soccer and the fit hit the shan so to speak. He has to learn not to manipulate people (especially his father) to get his own way. But we stuck by our guns and took him out of soccer, if it takes this drastic to teach him a lesson, so be it. We both feel like crap about it, and maybe if his attitude improves we'll look at swimming lessons or something else he likes for June.

So after a lot of crying, yelling, talking, and an hour past bedtime, I think we might have made some progress.

The honeymoon is definately over.

Thursday:

Suprisingly, the grouchy child normally with little sleep was very pleasant this morning. He seems to have accepted that he will not be playing soccer. He has a friend who plays in U12 so he says he can still "keep in touch with soccer that way", whatever works I guess.

He actually talked to his dad about being pushed around at the park! YAY! We have been trying for months to get him to talk to us about this kind of thing. Also when I got home he was playing in the back yard with his friend, I wasn't happy about it, but really in all this, I figured he was honest with me when I asked him "You said, no friends in the house...". So at least they were playing in OUR yard and not someone elses. Only issue I had after that is that he hadn't finished his homework. But when I called him in to finish it, he did it without complaint. Also I told him he'd have to tell his dad he had a friend over... and he did!

I really hope these improvements continue. He'll get his PS2 controllers back today so he can play that again. And we'll discuss tonight about playing outside of the yard.

Cross your fingers...

Please, someone else take this stress?

2006-05-10T15:38:00.000-06:00

Ok, there has to be an end to it somewhere right?

Sheesh! So I get a call from my hubby, someone's drowned their lunch/spilled vinegar at his office. Now he has a violent reaction to vinegar, violent and probably almost projectile. Lovely. Now he's feeling miserable, he had to leave work early, and probably won't be able to eat today.

Following this, my lawyer calls regarding the house sale/purchase. I'm amazed that they are working on it already, thinking yay, cool! Then she tells me that changing our possession date may be a problem since the sale of our house won't go through until the next day, she says have you talked to your bank about this? I'm thinking no one said anything about this 1 day being a problem, wouldn't my real estate agent have warned us if it was going to be? So now I'm in a panic, I say I'll call the bank and find out.

I call my banker and she says that no, it is not a problem, she just needs confirmation of the change of possession date. We will just need bridge financing for the remainder of our down payment which is minor, since it will be for all of 24hrs.

So this all settled, I still haven't heard from C's teacher even though I phoned and left a message this morning. I figure I'll give her until 4pm, then I'm heading home since I can't exactly answer my phone while I'm on my bike.

Please please please let tomorrow be less ridiculous... I need a break, and I just had one...

Life goes on

2006-05-10T08:01:00.000-06:00

So, the past week has again had its fair share of disasters. We were doin great until Friday when the floor fell out from underneath us. We got a call from C's school. He was behaving inappropriately (easiest way to sum up without going into detail).

So, C is grounded 3 ways from Sunday... It's a bit of a shock to his system, since his father and I are a lot more strict than his grandparents. He's had almost all of his "fun" stuff taken away, he's left with the TV, books and his toys. I'll check with the teacher today on how this week has gone and we'll talk about perhaps giving the PS2 controllers back. It is very frustrating but I figured it would have happened at some point.

It's also given us the needed fire to do more "family" things together. Even if it is watching design/renovation shows together after supper while the weather is miserable. I figure once it is nicer we can go to the dog park, or C mentioned he'd like all of us to go to the playground. I think this is a good thing, we need to get him to open up, so I'm all game to do some things to get us all out together instead of all staring at computer screens.

Also this weekend we went to help the mom-in-law in getting her house ready to sell. Whoah. Lots of work. Lots and lots of work. I re-caulked their pink bathtub (erk) and forced mom to pack things she doesn't need (like kiddy cups and ancient tupperware). Just so much work.

Our living room is now packed, except for things like the PS2 and VCR etc. I think maybe the sewing room is next. I'm stacking everything in the living room so we can just haul it all out the front door on moving day.

Erk, much arguing going on behind me... more later

ERK!

2006-05-03T10:53:00.000-06:00

Well we got confirmation of our new possession date on the new house. June 29th!

Of course, now it just hit that we have to book a truck and plan the move, and try to find volunteers! ARG!

So I called U-Haul, and at least got the truck booked. We pick it up at closing on the 28th hopefully so we can start late that night if we want (9pm). But the main stuff will be the 29th. So now we're dredging our brains to figure out who we can invite to come give us a hand either during the day or after work. For some reason I think this is going to be the hard part. Not only is the 29th a "working day" but we haven't really hung out with a lot of people in the past year. I'd feel back asking just anyone to come help, c'mon who really wants to help people move? So, if anyone wants to volunteer? :)

I did email some people that I figured I could twist an arm on without too much trouble (love ya guys!) and hopefully in the next month and a half we can recruit a few more. Once we know the numbers then we can figure out if we're promising pizza or something more :)

New link

2006-05-03T09:46:00.000-06:00

Everyone check out the new link over there on the right --->

Cute overload, the website to go to if you ever need a pick me up on a bad day.

Found a calendar!

2006-05-01T12:13:00.000-06:00

Coolness! I found a funky calendar which will allow me and anyone else I choose schedule things on it. So anyone who wants to organize stuff can, hint hint Ya Ya ladies!

I will be testing this out so please anyone try the link on the right and comment.

Ya Ya ladies, expect your password shortly.

Back to work

2006-05-01T11:52:00.000-06:00

Ok dad update.

He came home Friday afternoon. I think he’s glad to be home, but he is so tired, and seems so “transparent”. Just pale, and tired. It’s going to be a long time before he feels like himself again. We now are waiting until mid May for the cardiac procedure to correct the hole in his heart. I am really glad he is home.

Me update.

Off work for a week, back today. The spells of vertigo are fewer, maybe 1 every 1-2 hours. They were less when I was running around less (go figure). Perhaps it is/was a viral infection in my inner ear, or perhaps it was a result of stress, I guess we’ll never know. The other possibility is that during the whole chaos of my dad I forgot to take my anti-depressants. Totally. Cold turkey. And it took me about 2 weeks or so to realize it. Oddly enough I felt ok other than the dizziness. So I looked up withdrawl from my meds… go figure à Vertigo. Potentially 8 weeks of it. So we’ll see. But I didn’t want to jump back on my pills after going cold turkey, so I’m gonna ride it out. See how the moods stable out. I get angry real quick right now but that seems to be the worst of it. If I can sit on the anger (ie. No fuse) I may just be alright.

Family update.

C has started walking home from school on his own (I kind of figured about time, he is more than old enough). I give him 30 mins to get home, and 4/5 days he was early. This week we are trying him coming home on his own alone. He has a house key and a bunch of rules and phone numbers. He’ll really only be home for 10-15 mins on his own today since I think I’ll leave work about 3:30-3:45. I’m trying to aim for more of a 7:30-3:30 or even 7-3 schedule for the summer.

We’re also trying to figure out what to do with him for the summer. Camps are cool, but expensive (avg. $100-150/week). We’ll see if the mom-in-law wants to take him for a week or two, and we’ll be off for a week while we move.

We actually packed a couple of bookcases on the weekend; hubby was a sweetheart and did most of it. I just labeled and stacked the boxes. We also had way too much fun at a liquidation center this weekend buying these totally cool humidifiers. Hard to explain, but imagine a 3’ tall flower that has almost dry ice mist in it. They’re totally cool! So we had to go back and get mom-in-law one, and great granny too.

Hubby got his tax return so we were able to pay off the car repairs and the loan from mom for the deposit on the house (thank you mom!). And we bought a kit to repair the bathtub, professional reglazing costs upwards of $400, totally not worth it when we are just doing it to make the tub look nice when we leave. I’ll take the $45 kit instead, even tho we’ll have to shower at mom-in-law’s for a week.

I think that catches everyone up. Hopefully.

He's home!

2006-04-28T14:55:00.000-06:00

My dad's home! More later.

YAY!

2006-04-25T08:11:00.000-06:00

It posted! Even tho I had to re-enter all my paragraph lines...

2006-04-25T08:10:00.000-06:00

Ok, I now understand why C writes her blog in a word processor and then uploads it. BLOGGER ATE MY ENTRY YESTERDAY DAMMIT! And I was so annoyed I said screw it and left it.

So today! I am writing in my crappy copy of Works (cause I’m too cheap to buy Word and it was free with the comp) and gonna try to upload it like the wise and wonderful C.

So, dad’s in a holding pattern. He is progressively improving, slowly, but improving. From talking to mom last night they’re going to start him on the blood thinner pills and wean him off the heparin so he can go home to wait for his cardiac procedure to close the hole in his heart (May 15ish for pete’s sake!) I suppose he would be more comfortable at home, but my mom and I are both a bit paranoid about his breathing. I want his oxygen levels over 95% without supplemented oxygen. Monday morning’s numbers weren’t that great (92%) I think with no oxygen overnight, so maybe by the time the thinners are stabilized so will his oxygen intake.

I’m on leave from work for a few days… I’ve been having these bouts of vertigo for the past 2 weeks with numbness in my tongue and lips so went to the doc on Friday and he ran the gamut of neuro tests and had a bunch of bloodwork done. Will keep you all posted. I have an idea of what it might have been caused by, but want to talk to the doc first so you all get to wait to hear about my stupidity.

C started soccer practice last night. Man the kid is exhausted this morning. They practiced for 1.5 hrs which is a lot for a bunch of 8-9 year olds their first evening out. No major injuries, just sore muscles.

I’ve packed a few boxes for moving, trying to get started on that. Mostly just repacking properly the stuff we tossed in the garage to “show” the house. With that, I did hear from my agent yesterday, things look positive about moving the possession date of the new place up a day or 2. We should have a better idea in 2 weeks.

Got the car in to get the brakes, muffler and tires done. Ow. But money well spent, the little garage near here did a good job, and I felt comfortable dealing with them. The car should be good for the next couple of years, just needs an oil change.

I’m trying to find out if I can put some sort of appointment calendar or something on my blog, see the gals get together for “Ya Ya nights/afternoons” where we chat about everything and nothing and generally blow off steam and get support from friends. But ladies! We need to schedule this more often! So yeah, I’m looking for one, if any lurker out there knows of one, drop me a comment would’ya?

Ok off to call bathtub repair places (our bathtub is peeling!) and then for some WOW before I head up to the hospital for lunch with dad.

Holding pattern and time off

2006-04-24T08:08:00.000-06:00

So we sit... and wait until the ortho doc comes in today. Well my mom and dad sit and wait, I'm here at home on my own doctor prescribed stress leave for a few days. Although I have to say the vertigo episodes seem to be lessening (cross your fingers that I haven't just jinxed myself) so I hope I can get back on my motorbike... I'm going through withdrawl.

So on my stress leave today :) I have scheduled:
Drop kidlet off at dayhome
Take car in for estimate on brakes
Avoid heart attack when hearing price for brake repair (just speculating)
Laundry
Packing
Dishes
Beg hubby to pay for brake repair
NAP?
Pick up car
Wait for kidlet to walk home from school (I gave him 25 mins before I start walking to meet him)
Maybe in there play some World of Warcrack

Apparently I have a hard time relaxing... go figure... I'll try not to do too much... but I hate just sitting around.

Kidlet's soccer practices/games start tonight, yikes. These poor kids, they're talking 6-8pm. When are they supposed to do homework? and sleep? Ours gets ready for bed at 8pm and it's still hard to get him up at 7am the next day.

So looks like I'll need to have supper added to my list so when they get home they can eat while I go take care of the mom's dogs (which I have been doing nightly while dad is in hospital)

Oop, dryer's done (thank goodness it doesn't buzz) :) I'm off to flip laundry, and then maybe a bit of WOW... yes that's it... WOW then take the car in

Where'd the week go?

2006-04-22T18:23:00.000-06:00

On the dad front:

He still wants to go home. I don't blame him. But mess ups abound. Apparently no one spoke to the cardiologist about this procedure until Tuesday . So finally they all get together just in time for my dad's ortho surgeon to go to a conference for the weekend. And apparently no one wants to do anything until he gets back. That's another week wasted. The cardiac guy is now talking mid May for this procedure? WTF? It's a 1 hr procedure, what's the issue. I'm frustrated that I'm just hearing this from my mom, but I know I can't sit in his hospital room to wait for updates myself. Damn control freak tendencies sometimes...

So here he sits, on heparin and saline, eating diced food (better than minced!) on his way to real food. Walking a bit with the help of a cane, as he's still pretty weak, but that reminds me! What the hell are the physio people doing working on how well he can walk? His legs aren't broke, it's his damn shoulder that's been replaced, geeze people grab a brain! His speach improves daily, I have every expectation that he will have full recovery, and perhaps if they every get this damn procedure done, we may prevent any more strokes from occuring.

On the house front:

Waiting to see if we can get a couple days ealier posession on our new place. Just enough so that we can move everything out of the old place and I can clean it decently. Granted why is it when you sell something it all of a sudden starts to fall apart? Here's a wierd one... our bathtub is peeling, yes peeling. Apparently the previous owner had it coated with something, and now it is peeling off the base of the tub. Grrrr, have to make a trip to home depot to figure out if it's a do-it-yourself or call someone in.

On the car front:

I think I need new brakes. My car is making a very annoying squeek for awhile now. Hubby hasn't been too helpful in taking it in for me, so I made an appointment with the little garage across the street to get an estimate on Monday. I really hope it won't be too expensive.

On the me front:

So with all the stress and chaos of the dad situation, I really haven't had too much time for myself. I went to the doc yesterday since I've had 2 weeks of "vertigo" now. Where every once in awhile it will feel like the world takes some time to catch up to my brain. Also a week ago, the tip of my tongue and my lips started getting tingly. Like I burned them on soup, but I know I haven't. So doc ran the neuro gamut and took some blood and gave me some time off. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's something more, we'll see. He told me to rest and come back Wed to see what the lab results pop up.

It's a new week

2006-04-18T13:21:00.000-06:00

I took 2 days off from going to the hospital to give myself a bit of a break. As hard as it was, and even tho I still feel guilty about doing it, I did get some rest.

I went for coffee this morning with my dad, he seems to have really jumped ahead since Saturday. He was able to sit up and have coffee with me, even though when I was done, he was more than ready for a nap since a Physio guy showed up at the same time to work on his shoulder.

I went back at lunch and dad was up in his wheelchair eating lunch by the window. He was even able to walk using his IV pole to stabelize him back to his bed after lunch. But again, poof, out for a nap. I know how he feels I did the same all weekend.

Physio people were supposed to return at 10:30-11ish but apparently they didn't show according to mom, so who knows when they will appear.

Also, another messup.. I can't believe this place. My dad has a hole in his heart that needs to be corrected. You'd think they might get on that eh? No. The main cardiologist guy was not informed I found out today. So we've wasted 4 days when my dad may have been able to have this done cause someone didn't tell their boss. FRUSTRATING! But I'm thankful to the stubborn doc yet again, cause she notified the proper people. Hopefully now someone will act on it.

Dad's been making noises since Sunday that he wants to go home. It's good incentive since he's been actually doing his speach therapy and trying to move around more. His speach is leaps and bounds better, most often we can understand him on the first try unless he's getting tired.

I'm having trouble getting motivated to pack for the move. It must be all the stress all at once because normally I would have the house half packed by now. Hopefully things will settle down and I can get more enthused. I'm excited for sure! Just overwhelmed I think.

Happy Easter

2006-04-16T13:54:00.000-06:00

Well, since I haven't been up to the hospital yet. I'll put up a happy picture of my puppdog. He doesn't realize he's almost 8 years old.

Update

2006-04-15T09:26:00.000-06:00

Well lets see, where are we.

Thursday afternoon/evening a social worker appeared to chat with my mom. It's about time someone came around to see what's happening. The biggest grief that my mom could come up with of course at the time was the diet they were feeding my dad. I'd accosted a nurse earlier in the day to ask if he could have some fruit or something more palatable than the sludge they were giving him. And for once, the hospital actually acted on it. Since Thursday he's been getting more normal food, just with lots of sauce (3 times the sauce) to make things soft and slippery. It's nice to see more than just the dairy food group on his tray.

Also Thursday afternoon they came back with the results of the transesophogeal echo (?), where they look at your heart by going down your throat to do it. And omg they finally found something. One of the many docs suspected that there might be a small hole in my dad's heart which was why the clots were running around outside of the normal flow. And in November with the first stroke they never did find anything. But they never looked that deep aparently. So, she runs this big test and pop! there it is! While having a hole in your heart isn't the best thing to hear, it's better than another I don't know.

So, now he needs that fixed too. A whole herd of cardiologists appeared Thursday to explain the procedure. Apparently they put a little "umbrella" in his heart to block the hole. It's done totally through veins so they don't have to crack his chest open. I'll have to look more into this procedure.

And he got a not bad smelling meatloaf, corn and potatoes for dinner.

Friday

Didn't go in as early, trying to let my mom get into a routine, since this is going to be a long haul and I do have to get back to working normally. Still frustrated with the hospital staff, there's just not enough of them to be able to commit to any time to do certain things like getting my dad out of bed, which still takes at least 2 people.

So I got in, and we had the physio lady working on his shoulder, and then they offered to get him into the wheelchair so we could take him for a wander. Apparently they gave him a gross lunch (soggy grilled cheese) but he did eat all his soup. Anyways, we got him into the chair and took him for a stroll down the hall, out of the ward, through some sunshine, and sat at one of the lounge areas outside of his ward. I think he was relieved to be up and about, but after about half an hour he was ready to go back to bed.

He had a number of visitors yesterday, so I'm sure he was totally pooped by dinnertime. He got ham and peas and I think potatoes again, and CHOCOLATE CAKE! He said the peas were gross but ate the ham, and his cake :) It took him two go rounds to finish the cake, but he did.

The speech pathologist has left us a list of words to work on, but right now with every meal/activity causing him to need a nap, we haven't done too much with them yet.

Oh, and also! He swallowed pills yesterday. He had 2 T3's after his afternoon jaunt.

So, things are progressing slowly but steadily. We're not sure when the cardio fixit is happening yet, either next week or the week after.

Back deck

2006-04-13T12:35:00.000-06:00

A modicum of good news?

2006-04-13T12:30:00.000-06:00

I'm lucky to know what day I'm on anymore. But today I think hopefully started out well. My mom and I got off the elevator on my dad's floor of the hospital to see him walking towards us. Yeah he's got physio equipment everywhere, but he's walking towards us. I get teary just thinking about it.

They've still got him on crap food, porridge, pudding, yogurt etc. We brought him some fruit cocktail from home and he was able to eat the peaches... everything else was still a bit too hard to chew.

He also got into a private room last night so he at least has a window to stare out of, and possibly a tv. Not that he cares much, but it's got to be better than staring at the clock.

They've dropped his oxygen again, and he's managing to stay relatively stable between 92-95 (whatever your saturated o2 measurement units are). Even dropping from 6 to 5 is progress.

I still wish he could be going home soon, but I know even tho the staff for the most part sucks at the hospital, he's where he needs to be. Curious as to what will happen when they transfer him to the Glenrose for rehab.

Checked out the new school for the step-son last night. Wow, St. Albert has money in their school system! Amazing. I'm excited for him, even tho everything else is kind of squishing that excitement into my feet. I'm excited about the house too, but can't motivate myself to do much more than collapse into sleep when I get home right now.

Our House!

2006-04-12T13:45:00.000-06:00

It is a 4 level split with ~2000 sq feet of living space (woot!). 3 bedrooms, 3 full bathrooms. Master bedroom has a 3 piece ensuite (yay!). Over sized 2 car garage with enough room out front to pretty much turn the bikes around to ride down the driveway forwards rather than having to back down the driveway. Gas fireplace, wet bar, lovely deck out back.

Life sucks and then?

2006-04-12T13:16:00.000-06:00

So, since I'm not functioning in any sort of thinking capacity I thought I'd update the 2 people who read my blog ;)

Let's see, where did I leave off. Yes, my dad was recovering nicely from his shoulder surgery. Then the sky fell in.

I came back from visiting him Friday at lunch to get back to work. Work work work. Then at 3:30 I get a call from the pain management nurse. He's had another stroke. Now, my dad had a stroke back in November that brought the world crashing down on us all, but he did recover 100% from that one. Needless to say I packed up and pretty much ran from the lab to the hospital.

Now, background on this one. We don't know what might have caused this one, but there was a major fuckup post surgery for my dad. The surgeon's "assistant" ?forgot? to write up post-op instructions which is why my dad didn't get painkillers till the next day. Well apparently also in these not written post-op instructions was supposed to be instructions for him to get heparin since he'd had the one stroke in november. We still haven't decided what to do on that note with the hospital. No one's focused enough to threaten a lawsuit yet.

So anyways. It's Friday evening, my dad can no longer talk/swallow. Thank goodness he still has mobility in his limbs, this stroke seemed to be restricted to just facial nerves. We're raking the surgeon over the coals as to what was supposed to have been done post surgery and why there were no instructions written.

I don't remember too much of Friday to be honest. My world was crashing down around me and I couldn't do anything about it.

Saturday, back to the hospital (I've taken the car away from my mom and have been driving back and forth a number of times in a day). Tests tests and more tests. Chest x-rays to make sure he's not aspirated any liquids. He's not allowed anything by mouth. He's frantic, we're frantic. And then his breathing gets strained. I don't even know if this was saturday or sunday at this point. Doc comes in later and says that my dad has pulmonary embolisms in his lungs. In simple terms, he has blood clots in his lungs which are cutting off his air. So now I'm watching my dad struggle to breathe and I'm scared to death. I know it's not good. Thankfully they finally get a heparin drip going after much debate with the neurology asshole who didn't want to give him heparin, and the ortho doc (covering his ass) wanting to. So finally the ortho doc just did it. And I'm glad he did.

They hooked him up to the heparin drip and also transferred him out of the ortho ward and into the trauma ward where he got to be monitored 24/7. Much better. They were monitoring his oxygen intake and blood pressure etc. No one has anything comforting to say. Just monitoring. Hour to hour. More tests will be booked monday.

On top of all this, we have a house to look at Saturday afternoon. It's the last thing in the world I want to do, but need to do something. The house is nice, really nice, we want to write an offer. So we go to write an offer and find out we're competing (not surprised). The offers won't be presented until Sunday morning. Back to the hospital.

Sunday morning, back to the hospital. Checking phone messages on the house. Finally some good news. We have a house! Will post pics soon.

Back to the hospital. Trying to contact my sisters in amongst all this. Both are not in town. They're frantic. Trying to keep everyone updated. Getting really tired.

Monday, they take some of the monitoring stuff off. That's got to be good right? I leave my mom at the hospital and try to work. Back to the hospital later, check on him. He's hanging in there. They've turned down his oxygen and given him a nasal canulla instead. The speach pathologist has come in to give him a swallowing assessment. He can start to have some fluids. I think it's probably the best cream of carrot soup he's ever had. Supposed to be a busy day, but they only take him off for one test. Well hopefully more Tuesday.

I'm getting tired of updating people. I know they want to know, but I'm tired of talking about it. Back to the hospital Tuesday morning, they've kidnapped him for some tests, finally. So he gets a bunch done including a wierd "bubble echo" where they inject saline into him to check his heart. It's quite uncomfortable for him in his chest so they give him nitro which knocks him out so bad he can't eat.

Oh and we got our approval on our mortgage, yay!

So now we come to today (Wednesday). Hospital this morning, they've kidnapped him yet again for an x-ray of his shoulder (the least of our worries at the moment). And they're talking about transferring him to the Glenrose for specific therapy for the shoulder and the stroke. He's starting to seem more like himself. His speach is becoming easier to understand and he can take larger drinks, still through a straw, but it's progress.

Now the concern is why the clots got to where they are. The current hypothesis is that he has a small hole in his heart that's allowing them to get where they shouldn't be. So more testing. They want to stop the heparin drip and put him on a pill blood thinner. So I'm guessing we are making progress. I have to look at it that way. Just going over the past few days to write it down has brought tears to my eyes again.

Tonight, I won't be at the hospital. With buying this house, we are looking at the school that my step-son will most likely be attending. Convieniently the open house is tonight at the school. I'm nervous to leave my dad, but I really need to get to bed before midnight-2am.

Now to see if I can figure out how to put up house pics.

TG

2006-04-07T09:52:00.000-06:00

Well things just don't slow down do they? My dad went in for shoulder replacement surgery yesterday. He's doing fine, but the hospital is doing the standard left hand not talking to the right hand and he was almost without any pain killers yesterday. Thank goodness the pain relief nurse came in while I was there for coffee this morning and he is hopefully going to be set up with a self-administering pump for morphine today. There's nothing to bring you down to earth faster than seeing your parent in a hospital bed. I've seen that too often in the past 6 months already.

On the house front. Wednesday night we went out to look at somewhere between 6-8 houses. They're kind of a blur to be honest. The only one that really stood out was in a very poor location so we passed on it. The other notables were:

1. The cat pee house! Listed by our old realator (scary) and we got no further than the front door before the smell bowled us over and we left before even taking off our shoes.
2. The house that was never cleaned. Other than the closet of a kitchen, that was the worst part of the house, these people didn't know what soap and water were for. White doors should not be grey with handprints when you're trying to sell a house.
3. The stinky curry house with way too many people living there. Again, would have been a beautiful house, but they had at least 2 families if not more crammed in there, and the curry smell just bowled us over.
4. The little bungalow in St. Albert. This one was a possibility, but I just found it too small/cramped for my tastes. The hubby really liked it and I felt bad saying I didn't. But we have to be honest with each other with this house thing so we don't end up in the situation we were in.
5. The 2-storey. The first we'd looked at. Was nice except it faced onto a really busy road, which shouldn't have been busy since there was an elementary school right across the road. It also had no fence, and the hubby's allergies to cats kicked in halfway through.

There were others, just not jumping to the front of my mind at the moment. I'm sure there will be more. And since we're now free to go "unconditional" ourselves, we are definately able to compete when we do find something nice.

Beyond Chaos

2006-04-05T09:17:00.000-06:00

OMFG! Ok what a disaster zone.

THE HOUSE IS SOLD!

YAY!

Ok on that note, the clusterfuck of selling it. The inspection went great, they took that condition off right away, so here we thought great, they'll take the financing condition off by the end of the week. Technically they had until April 4th at 9pm. But no, the week ended, conditions still on. We had gorgeous houses to look at, so were placing offers with our own conditions ending that day. Needless to say everyone is placing "unconditional offers" so we lost 2 houses over the weekend cause we couldn't do that.

Monday April 3, came and went. Still no word. Tuesday April 4, we fully expected to hear something during the day. Nothing. Even our agents were saying well, looks like we'll call all those other people who wanted to look at the house and get them through. We all figured that the offer had fallen through. THEN at 9 bloody exactly! They took the last condition off. FUCK!

OMG I never want to sell a house again.... people are idiots! But at least it's sold. Now we can go out there and place our own unconditional offers and actually compete in this insano-market.

Stress level decreasing...slightly...

Day 7?

2006-03-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

Heh, ok the days are blurred now.

So, our house went on the market Friday, we got the fancy shmancy signs and everything. Viewings were scheduled for Saturday. So, we went out to archery classes and then hubby and step-son went to a friends and I went to do our taxes. I got home to see that at least 5 people went through the house judging by the cards their agents left. So, not bad for a first day I thought.

Going upstairs to relax (I totally forgot to call hubby to say I was home.. oops), I played some World of Warcraft until I head the dog trying to bark himself hoarse and break the front window. I rush downstairs to see people peering in my front window. Ok? So I ask what's up and the guy says he just wanted to show his gf/wife? the house, he'd been through earlier and throught she'd like it. So, being me, I say come on in and look around... she loves the place, he tells me they're going to for sure write an offer that night. I'm thinking ok, I'll believe it when I see it.

A couple hours later the doorbell rings, and the couple is standing there again! They said they wrote an offer but my agent said he didn't have time to present it to us? Ok, so I'm thinking what the heck is going on... I told them I'd call my agent and find out... so they left again.

I gave my agent a call and he explained to me that it wasn't that he didn't have time, it was that their offer was ridiculously low and he didn't want to waste our time. So I'm not sure if they didn't understand or their agent didn't understand. So anyway, he told them to rewrite their offer if they wanted us to consider it seriously.

So, a bit later, he calls, they've rewritten for a more reasonable amount, but still low. He counters with full list price and says he'll let us know in the morning.

So, Sunday morning rolls around, he calls, they've come up a bit again on their offer, but he feels he can squeek another $1000 out of 'em. So I say go for it, if you can get them up that little bit more we'll agree. So about another hour later, we have an offer verbally accepted! By 2pm we have the offer accepted in writing, with the pendings of course!

So, theoretically, we have our house sold, barely 24 hrs after the first bunch of people went through. WOW. Now we'd better find a new house to move into :)

So, the inspection is tonight, hope that goes ok, 'cause they say they're already pre-approved for the mortgage, they just have to get official financing. The conditions are due to be off by April 4th, but if these people are as eager as they seem, I think they'll be off sooner.

This morning I called the bank to re-open our mortgage application, we'll see how that goes. We have a number from February when we thought about building, we're working with that. I should know tomorrow a better idea when the banker calls me back.

Sorry for all the so's... that's my brain itemizing... just floored how fast this went.

Day 2

2006-03-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

Well photos are done, chatting is out of the way. Boy can we all talk when we get going with our agent. Great guy very down to earth.

Still can barely get down our road due to the snow, but I hear rumors that the plows are starting to get to the residential area so that's hopeful.

So... the house goes on the market Friday! Whee! We're doing an unofficial open house on Saturday. They're going to try to get as many agents/clients through during the day, perhaps to even get an offer then! That would be wild, but I'm trying not to get too hopeful. He seems confident that he can sell our place. I just want to be able to look relatively stress-free for the new place.

So Saturday means archery classes for the kidlet and then hanging out with my parents while the boys go play D&D/PS2 respectively with friends. I'll finally be able to get our taxes done!

Hmmmm not sure what else to enlighten you all on (especially since there's probably not too many people reading this). If'n you have anything you'd like an update from me on my and my families lives let me know!

Day 1

2006-03-21T10:25:00.000-07:00

I guess today might count as day 1 with selling the house. Tonight after work our agent comes over to take the "promotional photos" of our house to put in the flyer and I'm guessing to do any paperwork, put up signage etc.

So, the house is clean. I'm sore. But it's done. It's amazing how dirty a house can get when you're nitpicking everything. The bathtub is re-caulked, what a pain! but at least I know how to do it. Also, to top things off, the toilet broke on Sunday. Luckily it's fixed now, would have been horrible to have a prospective buyer use the facilities and the toilet breaks on 'em.

The only negative right now is the 2 foot dump of snow that hit us this weekend. It's next to impossible to park in front of our house so we might not be able to have an open house on the weekend. Then again, I suppose I could go out there and shovel another pile or two of snow from the front street. By the time they get around to plowing the residential streets we'll be wearing shorts.

Now, the trick is, can we keep the house clean? Will it sell quick? (I sure hope so cause I want to house shop so bad!) But no shopping till an offer in hand... sigh... it's hard some days tho when I get emails from the agents of properties for sale. I hate moving, but I love a new place to set up.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

2006-03-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

So... back at the blog again. Now that there's some chaos in my life, perhaps some of it is blogworthy. Figured this would be a good way to keep my friends and family up to date since I'm horrible at phonecalls.

So, lets bring everyone up to date. As of boxing day 2005, my step-son came to live with my husband and I full time. It's been quite a period of adjustment for all of us. Taking care of a dog is a lot different than taking care of a 2-legged variety. He's a great kid, and I think we're all managing to get a routine down.

Then because that chaos wasn't enough, we realized that with having one munchkin underfoot, plus a 50lb dog and perhaps thinking of one more munchkin in the future, that our house is way too small for all of us. So... off we go exploring options of building or buying a new house.

But! Before we buy a new house, I'm not going to go through the stress of what happened with the condo (suffice to say, paying 2 mortgages is not fun). So we aren't even looking until we have a pretty sure sale in hand.

So, the house goes on the market in a week. We're frantically trying to get it clean enough to make me happy. If all goes well we should have it done by the end of the weekend. Our agent is coming Tuesday to take the promo photos. I hope it sells quick. Real estate here is pretty crazy so I think we have a good chance.

ta ta for now!