Mixed feelings

So now it's out there. Guess I need to post more eh?

This week has definately begun to have some queeziness... If it stays at this point for "morning sickness" it won't be too bad. S suggested carbs to help with it, so I tried a piece of toast and butter this morning before heading out the door, made it 3/4 of the way to work on the bus that was taking forever before I started feeling ill, and even at that point it wasn't too bad.

'course now some of the worrying sets in. I bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting" this weekend and started reading. I sometimes wonder if it's better to go head first with your eyes closed than open sometimes. Now I'm worried about the weight gain, nutrition, exercise etc. Pretty much am I eating the right foods? I've never been one to eat totally properly and I know now is the time to do it, but am I choosing the right stuff? I'm paranoid that I'm going to end up gaining too much weight and end up with gestational diabetes.

And well then there's exercise. I bought an elliptical cross-trainer a couple of weeks ago with the best of intentions, and when I went to assemble it, there were parts missing, and improperly drilled. So upon calling the company, they said they'd ship the parts out to me. Yay! Now 2 weeks later I phone them to see where the parts are and they tell me one of them is back ordered. Y'think they could have called maybe? So who knows, by the time the parts finally arrive, I'm gonna weigh too much to use the damn thing until the baby gets here.

I think perhaps today is just a negative day.

Issues remain with C and his homework, and right now my moods just aren't up to handling a kid who doesn't want to do anything that doesn't interest him. Maybe today will be better. Getting a note from the teacher saying he didn't do any work in class is rather frustrating.

Very fragmented thoughts today. I'm really tired, and I think I need to get to bed before 11pm. Must find more relaxing books to read before bed.

News!

If you see the top of my blog you will see our newest news! Squee!

In lieu of not having time to post at the moment, I'll leave you with my thoughts the day I found out.

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November 17, 2006

I saw a plus! I’d been feeling “weird” for a little while now. Not sick really, just weird. M and I went to the CFR and I cried during the Canadian anthem… I mean almost sobs, I couldn’t get control of myself until well into the first event. And well when one of the cowboys got hurt, there it went again.

Tuesday I realized that “hmmm should be period week”. I double checked my records, cause yeah, after our experience before, I’ve been recording these things. According to my records I was due for it on Monday. So I thought, ok, maybe just this ookieness is that… I mean PMS and all eh? So we go through Tuesday, Wednesday, and now I’m starting to wonder. Thursday I decided to go buy some pregnancy home tests… I figure at least that will make me stop with the “possible scenarios” hope.

So this morning I pee on the stick. And wait, and not even 30 seconds into the incubation time I see a plus. I race out of the bathroom to wake M up. He can barely see straight and I ask him what he sees. He’s like, “I have no idea what I’m looking at”, and “Did you just hand me a stick with pee on it?”. I ask him if he sees a plus. He says yes, and I explain what that might mean.

I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon to get the appropriate bloodtests done. I’m scared, and more than that exctatic! I want to tell the world, but I can’t. Not yet. We have to make sure that this little one is going to “stay”. I’m hoping because I actually noticed it that this one might. It’s hard not to get my hopes up, and I alternate between laughing, and shaking, and wanting to cry.

According to all the calculators, I’m 5 weeks today. No morning sickness yet, and well the adrenaline is taking care of the sleepies. I’m always tired, so that’s nothing out of the ordinary. Will I be blessed with a puke-free pregnancy? We can hope. No food cravings or avoidances either yet. I feel a little bit bloated, but that’s about it. They say your breasts are supposed to get sore, but mine aren’t really. Maybe a tiny bit more sensisitve, but hard to say. Mostly I “know” they are there. When I snuggle up to M’s back, I can feel them more than normal? But maybe that’s all psychosomatic.

I hope to write my thoughts here as I think of them. Perhaps to keep a record of this. I want to take a picture of the pee stick, is that wrong? (chuckle)

I’m also debating the “tummy pictures” progression, if only for my family and friends. As much as I hate taking my picture taken, I want to record this. I never thought I’d think this way about being pregnant.

Heh, to show how this has totally altered my thinking. When I saw that plus, I didn’t even think about “how are we going to do this, how to pay for it, etc”, it was “OMG! I can’t wait 2 more months to tell people! I want to shout it from the rooftops!”

I thought the happiest day of my life was the day I got married. This is pulling an awful close second!

November 20, 2006

Got confirmation from the doc! It's official!