TIme flies

Baby's first concert - Paul Brandt!

Hope to get more to you all tomorrow after the doc's appt!

Can you say mood in a toilet?

Yeah, that's my today.

I think people are supposed to be excited to go to their prenatal appointments, and in some small space of my brain I am. But there's one thing I dread every visit, and that's the stepping on the scale. Coming from a weight obsessed family it is hard not to feel like crap when you realize how much you have gained. I thought I was doing not too bad, but then I got my prenatal sheets (that I'm now supposed to carry pretty much everywhere) and well, now I can see in black and white the weight gain. If it weren't for this baby, I'd be tempted to stop eating altogether... I've never been this heavy in my life, and I know, I know, there's a baby in there, but c'mon, how much does the baby weigh, like 3 pounds right now? And the fluid and stuff adds some too, but everything I read says that I can expect to gain a pound at least a week... and I have 10 weeks to go! That's at least 10 more pounds!

The only reassurance today was hearing the baby's heartbeat, but I think I was already too upset about the weight thing to even really enjoy it. It's just so hard, all I seem to crave is sweets.

M has offered to help us both eat a bit lighter since he wants to also cut back on how much he's eating so I hope that helps. 'cause right now I'm just in that nice dark pit, except it's not a nice dark cool pit cause it's friggin hot out. heh, ok there's still some humor left in me.

I was gonna blog about classes, but maybe I'll see if tomorrow I'm more in the mood.

Please please can I have a non-stress week?

Let's start with a happy belly picture. Here is baby and me at 29weeks. Please ignore the disasterous sewing room behind me. :)

Ok, so where'd we leave off. Right, M flew to Ft. Mac on Friday to fix some computers, apparently he was done by 10:30 in the morning and did some odds and ends until he got to fly out around 3:30ish in the afternoon.

I had the car at work and thought, yay! I can bring home the baby gate and heater that I was given by a gal here. Heh, typical baby brain I guess, I forgot it at work. Now it waits until next monday when I next have the car here. So I bounce out of work, go to get C and then head to the airport to pick up M. We get M and begin to head to P's house 'cause we're all going out for dinner and then M is going to work on P's old comp for S. We're all nice and relaxed sitting at a read light on 118th ave and 124th street when KERSMASH we get rear ended. *sigh* Yup, there starts our weekend.

So M get's the other driver's info and checks the car for damage. Luckily it wasn't too high of an impact, the running lights on the rear bumper are busted, and the bumper itself is cracked. The worst damage is that the trunk is not releasing properly from inside the car, and if you open it manually with the key it doesn't "pop" up like it normally does, it kind of "sticks". You can still get it open but you have to actually lift it now. C and I don't move from where we are frozen in the car. When M gets back into the car I say "ok, we have to cancel dinner, 'cause I'm going to emerg", I know no one is really hurt, but I'm scared for the baby and I want it checked out.

So we take C to P's house, M lets him know what's happening and P offers to watch C for us while we go to the hospital. Off we head to the Sturgeon emerg, we get there and there's no lineup! I love the Sturgeon, for a hospital, they're pretty decent. We get admitted and then sit for a few minutes before heading in to be assessed. They take the doppler to my tummy and I lose it when I hear the baby's heartbeat... I guess I was more worried than I thought. They also checked M's neck and stuff just to be on the safe side. After waiting some more after the initial assessment a doc came in and said that they wanted to do a stress test on the baby, just to be on the safe side. I'm all for anything to make sure that the baby is ok.

So, off we head to the maternity ward for this monitoring. The ER doc said it should only take 30 mins, heh. We get up there and they tell us it will be 4hrs! Whoah. At this point neither of us has eaten since lunch, so after they get me hooked up I send M off to call parents and get food. M organizes with P for C to sleep overnight, and picks up some subs. He comes back to the hospital to find out I'm not allowed to eat, just in case. So there we sit, for 4 hrs. At about 11pm they let me have some juice and yogurt, and around midnight they decide I can go home. As cool as it was to lay there and listen to the baby's heartbeat for 4 hours, it was getting a bit tiresome. So back we went to the ER to get discharged, and got home just before 1am.

So yeah, that was the start to my weekend. Not nearly as relaxing as I'd hoped, and I knew we'd still have to deal with the insurance company on monday (I didn't think it qualified as an "emergency claim" as no one was hurt except for the car, and it was still driveable).

Now it is mostly in the hands of the insurance company, we're getting an estimate on the damage today, and that should give us an idea if they're going to write off the car (it is 10 years old). Guh, not the way I wanted to get a new car. Guess we'll have to just wait and see.

Oh and HR still hasn't posted my job listing... eek

And panic sets in

...with teeth and claws

So, yeah, I've had a few bouts with panic/nerves etc, but nothing compared to last night. I totally lost it, it was all I could do not to go hide in my room and just cry. I just keep thinking how the hell do people do this? And do it more than once? I feel so lost, so unprepared. M tries his best to help, but he can't get in my head and fix the fears. He keeps telling me to relax, and I try, but it never lasts for long. I tried last night to just sit back and watch tv last night, but it still kept hitting in waves of panic/tears. I haven't played WoW since what, Monday... just don't feel up to it, plus we've been really busy this week.

I know this week has been extra stressful, and I try to use that to put things in perspective. It just seems that M has demands all over the place and neither him nor I want to say no to anyone right now. I just feel so overwhelmed. Apparently a lot of it is part of the hormones, the panic to get the house in order etc becomes worse that kind of thing.

M and I talked about the classes last night, he's much more interested as we get into the later topics, he's quite keen on the hospital tour, as am I. He also wants to hear the "drug" talk, cause he thinks that will be fun, lol.. that's my hubby.

For now I'm just trying to relax. M's company flew him to Ft. Mac today to do some computer upgrades, at least he'll be back tonight and not staying over. But then we have dinner with P tonight, and M and C go to P's for D&D tomorrow, and we need to get the yard done 'cause Greendrop is coming soon, and the house is a mess, and the baby's room is just a pile of stuff right now... sigh. This is where my mind sits right now. I can't clean the house from top to bottom, and I can't expect the boys to do it either. I know it's not as big a disaster as I think it is, but it seems that everything is amplified right now. The smallest thing is driving me bonkers... if I were to make a to do list it would be pages long.

Guh... ok I'm rambling now and it's going nowhere.

First prenatal class update

So, for anyone who is curious. We had our first prenatal class last night. M made a lot of fuss whining and not wanting to go, but being the lovely man he is, he sucked it up and went with me.

There's about a dozen couples in the class, the lastest due date being July 24th. The gal teaching the class is a RN and has 5 kids (2 daughters and triplet boys), so I figure she's pretty qualified.

We started with relaxation and breathing exercises. For me, this was the worst part of the whole class. I mean, I love it when M touches me, but to be doing it in a classroom, surrounded by 20+ other people, even if they are doing the same thing, wierds me out. The breathing was even worse, I know it's good to learn and all, but talk about feeling like a complete gomer. M said I turned beet red the whole time we were doing it. I was very relieved when that part of the class was over and we could just sit and listen to the instructor talk.

She covered a variety of topics, true/false labor, what to put in your "goody bag" which is different from the "hospital bag". The goody bag is the stuff for YOU rather than the baby. Things to amuse you during labor, things to do, gum, chapstick, that kind of stuff. Also, to bring food for the "coach" cause the cafeteria has crappy hours at the Sturgeon. She also started talking about the stages of labor, really just the beginning. Lots of pictures to look at, so far nothing that scary except for what 10cm dilated looks like (yowch!).

I suppose the best thing that came out of it is the realization that I want M to make sure before ANY doctor/resident/nurse etc does any procedure on me, if I am not coherent enough, that he gets a definite medical reason for it. She showed us the tool they use to break your water if it doesn't break naturally and that made me really think about it. I mean, if they want to "speed things along" without any good reason, they can FRO. Now, if they have a medical reason, that's fine, but the doc having a golf game, is not a medical reason :)

I also never thought of myself as the "natural" person, but the more I hear about all the technology the less thrilled I am about using it. I know my mind may chance, but right now I'm leaning towards au natural with a healthy dose of nitrous ;) Epidurals scare the crap out of me, never mind the chance of needing a catheter with it (ick) and of course an IV (scream). Funny that, I am more scared of having to have an IV put in (I've had 3 in my lifetime) than labor.

Well that's it for now, unless any of you faceless (and one faced - *wave* Taryn) who read this have any questions :)

Registries and such

So, I'm being pushed to make registries for the baby. I put a couple together and I'll put 'em up here so I don't lose 'em. M doesn't agree with them (he didn't agree with the one for the wedding either) but people seem to expect that you will have them, so I puttered some time away today looking at cute baby stuff online.

Sears: Registry# 200705472644 (or use my name)
http://www.giftregistry.sears.ca/gift/egrSearch001.jsp

ToysRUS/BabiesRUs: Registry# 913120634 (or use my name)
http://www.toysrus.ca/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/GiftRegistryHomeView?storeId=10051&catalogId=10052&langId=-1&link_type=image&refTag=TRU_TN_SN_registry

To be honest, I have no idea what we need at this point, classes start tomorrow, perhaps we'll get a shopping list then. I also have to unpack all the stuff my sister sent from Ontario. Speaking of which, anyone want fun? Try to explain why I need a breast pump to a 10 year old, cause of all the stuff I brought home, he homes in on that box to ask about. Then he wanders off after the explanation going "pump, pump, pump", I'm sure he has some sort of "cow milking" idea in his head now.

Swing baby swing!

I totally forgot this morning, here is the swing that my grandmother bought for the baby. It's "rainforest" themed, I just liked how bright it was, and the fact that instead of depending entirely on "D" batteries $$$ it plugs in. It swings side to side and front to back and plays 6 different songs I think.

Baby update

So, 28 week doc's appt today. Things are going well, at least she has no negative comments. The baby's heart rate was 145bpm, and he/she was just running around in there today. The doc figured the baby had a growth spurt over the past 2 weeks, but I only gained approx 1lb over that time, so that's cool.

My blood pressure continues to be low (very cool!) even with me being stressed with M riding to Calgary today to work down there for a couple of days. He did call from Red Deer to reassure me, but I'm still waiting on the call to say he's in Calgary (sigh).

Also, my hemoglobin was good (13) so no worries of anemia, and my blood glucose was also good, I didn't get a number, but no worries of gestational diabetes (phew).

So knock on wood, this pregnancy is proceeding totally normally. I guess the original miscarriage cleaned the bugs out of the system?

So, yeah, I get to fret for the next few days with M away. Going to go to the parents tonight for supper to try to relax.

PHEW, just got my call from M. He's in Calgary. I feel much better now. Now I can get to work.

Will try to keep you all posted more frequently, but work seems to keep interfearing ;)

My job posting still isn't up... I'm gonna have no replacement, ack!

Well at least the baby will have some clothes, K at work is going to drop by 3 garbage bags of baby clothes this weekend probably.

Yes, random sporadic thoughts... stress does that to me...