...with teeth and claws
So, yeah, I've had a few bouts with panic/nerves etc, but nothing compared to last night. I totally lost it, it was all I could do not to go hide in my room and just cry. I just keep thinking how the hell do people do this? And do it more than once? I feel so lost, so unprepared. M tries his best to help, but he can't get in my head and fix the fears. He keeps telling me to relax, and I try, but it never lasts for long. I tried last night to just sit back and watch tv last night, but it still kept hitting in waves of panic/tears. I haven't played WoW since what, Monday... just don't feel up to it, plus we've been really busy this week.
I know this week has been extra stressful, and I try to use that to put things in perspective. It just seems that M has demands all over the place and neither him nor I want to say no to anyone right now. I just feel so overwhelmed. Apparently a lot of it is part of the hormones, the panic to get the house in order etc becomes worse that kind of thing.
M and I talked about the classes last night, he's much more interested as we get into the later topics, he's quite keen on the hospital tour, as am I. He also wants to hear the "drug" talk, cause he thinks that will be fun, lol.. that's my hubby.
For now I'm just trying to relax. M's company flew him to Ft. Mac today to do some computer upgrades, at least he'll be back tonight and not staying over. But then we have dinner with P tonight, and M and C go to P's for D&D tomorrow, and we need to get the yard done 'cause Greendrop is coming soon, and the house is a mess, and the baby's room is just a pile of stuff right now... sigh. This is where my mind sits right now. I can't clean the house from top to bottom, and I can't expect the boys to do it either. I know it's not as big a disaster as I think it is, but it seems that everything is amplified right now. The smallest thing is driving me bonkers... if I were to make a to do list it would be pages long.
Guh... ok I'm rambling now and it's going nowhere.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Random thoughts that pop into my head while I sit in the lab all day. I'm not mad most of the time... but there are days...
1 comment:
It's called nesting. All mothers start to do it around now - getting things prepped, making the hospital bag, trying to figure out how things will run, figuring out how to apply for EI, doing dry runs of things... it is perfectly normal. You are doing completely fine. And not being interested in WoW is quite normal, you have a lot on your brain and a large part of it wants to get things clean, get things right, get it done already... :)
Take a deep breathe in. Now let it out. Things will be fine. Everything will work out fine. Do what you can, rest while you can, make a list so you know what you want done.
And you always know where I live if you need some girl time. :)
Post a Comment