We have arms! And legs! And a head!

So, this is ultrasound #2. Ultrasound #1 wasn't really postworthy, really just a little squiggle. As you can see we have arms, and if you squint you can see legs. I can see them on the actual picture I have at home. C calls it "our peanut in an egg".

I'm finally starting to feel slightly better, or as others say, I'm learning to manage the nausea. I find I have to sleep at least 10 hrs to make it easier in the morning, so I'm going to bed at the same time as C right now. I've also finally trained myself to eat first thing when I got up... that was a battle and a half with my body. So now I find if I "graze" throughout the day, it isn't too bad.

I managed to go out for dinner with the family and P&B for S's birthday yesterday and made it through dinner without feeling too ill.

I can still do up my pants (at least until I get home from work - then it's nice to undo them) for the time being. I went looking at maternity jeans at Old Navy, what the hell is it with everything being low-rise? C'mon people, women over 30 don't want to leave everything hanging out anymore! And well, if they do, chances are they shouldn't be doin it. So I guess for now I'll stay in my own jeans until I can't get 'em on anymore, and also wearin sweatpants around the house.

Other than that, Christmas is kinda not going the way I wanted it to this year. I've just been too sick to do anything. I usually put my tree up the first weekend of December. It finally got put together yesterday. I also usually have my shopping done, my gifts wrapped... well my shopping's mostly done, C&M need to get out and do theirs, I haven't wrapped a single thing. I try not to let it get me down, cause I know I have this baby growing who kind of needs my energy more than my, but it is frustrating. My house is a mess, I'm behind on laundry, I haven't been able to play WoW in weeks for more than an hour at a time.

Ok, now I've dissolved into whining... time to get back to work!

Morning/All day sickness

SUCKS!

This is how annoyed I am with it. (sigh) At least I'm not puking. Just CONSTANTLY nautious. (Is that how you spell it? it doesn't look right).

Apparently my cervix is easily pissed off

Warning: Contains graphic girl information


Yeah, there's a topic. To follow my most recent day of panic.

Wednesday I had a little bit of "color" on the tp. Thursday it was more, enough to wear a pad to work. Of course, I go into panic mode, c'mon you're not supposed to be bleeding when you're pregnant, that's one of the bonuses! At least this wasn't red, it was brown, so therefor "old blood". I still called capital health to hope that they could calm me down, and while she was a bit reassuring (do you have cramps? no? ok that's good) she still told me to go to my doc within 72 hrs, which might be the standard response I hear. So I get into work and immediately at 9 call my doc. Luckily he can see me at 4:15.

So I stew all day yesterday, paranoid every time I go to the bathroom (which is getting more often since I'm supposed to drink 64oz of water a day and I'm not used to it). The "bleeding" seemed to be slowing down throughout the day. By the time I got to the doc it wasn't bad at all.

He did a "mini-internal", took some swabs to rule out infections, and said he saw some blood on the outside of my cervix. Now I've been told before that I have a "fragile cervix" 'cause after my annual exams I generally have bleeding. Also, if I walk for prolonged periods of time (>2hrs) I tend to have some bleeding. So maybe all I did is move/stretch/slip wrong and it got mad again and burst a capillary? I hope that's all it is. No calls from the doc so I'm guessing no infection. Good.

'course he did warn me, that the exam was going to make me bleed again... and yup there's more brown. Hoping it tapers off (seems to be a bit) over the weekend. He's going to do a pap on monday at my prenatal which is gonna fire it up all over again, but at least if we know that my cervix is as emotional as I am right now we can compensate for it.

Anyways, for all you (1 person) who reads this blog, cross your fingers for me that things are all ok. I'm still a bit on edge. Man, I need to figure a way to relax.

Mixed feelings

So now it's out there. Guess I need to post more eh?

This week has definately begun to have some queeziness... If it stays at this point for "morning sickness" it won't be too bad. S suggested carbs to help with it, so I tried a piece of toast and butter this morning before heading out the door, made it 3/4 of the way to work on the bus that was taking forever before I started feeling ill, and even at that point it wasn't too bad.

'course now some of the worrying sets in. I bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting" this weekend and started reading. I sometimes wonder if it's better to go head first with your eyes closed than open sometimes. Now I'm worried about the weight gain, nutrition, exercise etc. Pretty much am I eating the right foods? I've never been one to eat totally properly and I know now is the time to do it, but am I choosing the right stuff? I'm paranoid that I'm going to end up gaining too much weight and end up with gestational diabetes.

And well then there's exercise. I bought an elliptical cross-trainer a couple of weeks ago with the best of intentions, and when I went to assemble it, there were parts missing, and improperly drilled. So upon calling the company, they said they'd ship the parts out to me. Yay! Now 2 weeks later I phone them to see where the parts are and they tell me one of them is back ordered. Y'think they could have called maybe? So who knows, by the time the parts finally arrive, I'm gonna weigh too much to use the damn thing until the baby gets here.

I think perhaps today is just a negative day.

Issues remain with C and his homework, and right now my moods just aren't up to handling a kid who doesn't want to do anything that doesn't interest him. Maybe today will be better. Getting a note from the teacher saying he didn't do any work in class is rather frustrating.

Very fragmented thoughts today. I'm really tired, and I think I need to get to bed before 11pm. Must find more relaxing books to read before bed.

News!

If you see the top of my blog you will see our newest news! Squee!

In lieu of not having time to post at the moment, I'll leave you with my thoughts the day I found out.

----------
November 17, 2006

I saw a plus! I’d been feeling “weird” for a little while now. Not sick really, just weird. M and I went to the CFR and I cried during the Canadian anthem… I mean almost sobs, I couldn’t get control of myself until well into the first event. And well when one of the cowboys got hurt, there it went again.

Tuesday I realized that “hmmm should be period week”. I double checked my records, cause yeah, after our experience before, I’ve been recording these things. According to my records I was due for it on Monday. So I thought, ok, maybe just this ookieness is that… I mean PMS and all eh? So we go through Tuesday, Wednesday, and now I’m starting to wonder. Thursday I decided to go buy some pregnancy home tests… I figure at least that will make me stop with the “possible scenarios” hope.

So this morning I pee on the stick. And wait, and not even 30 seconds into the incubation time I see a plus. I race out of the bathroom to wake M up. He can barely see straight and I ask him what he sees. He’s like, “I have no idea what I’m looking at”, and “Did you just hand me a stick with pee on it?”. I ask him if he sees a plus. He says yes, and I explain what that might mean.

I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon to get the appropriate bloodtests done. I’m scared, and more than that exctatic! I want to tell the world, but I can’t. Not yet. We have to make sure that this little one is going to “stay”. I’m hoping because I actually noticed it that this one might. It’s hard not to get my hopes up, and I alternate between laughing, and shaking, and wanting to cry.

According to all the calculators, I’m 5 weeks today. No morning sickness yet, and well the adrenaline is taking care of the sleepies. I’m always tired, so that’s nothing out of the ordinary. Will I be blessed with a puke-free pregnancy? We can hope. No food cravings or avoidances either yet. I feel a little bit bloated, but that’s about it. They say your breasts are supposed to get sore, but mine aren’t really. Maybe a tiny bit more sensisitve, but hard to say. Mostly I “know” they are there. When I snuggle up to M’s back, I can feel them more than normal? But maybe that’s all psychosomatic.

I hope to write my thoughts here as I think of them. Perhaps to keep a record of this. I want to take a picture of the pee stick, is that wrong? (chuckle)

I’m also debating the “tummy pictures” progression, if only for my family and friends. As much as I hate taking my picture taken, I want to record this. I never thought I’d think this way about being pregnant.

Heh, to show how this has totally altered my thinking. When I saw that plus, I didn’t even think about “how are we going to do this, how to pay for it, etc”, it was “OMG! I can’t wait 2 more months to tell people! I want to shout it from the rooftops!”

I thought the happiest day of my life was the day I got married. This is pulling an awful close second!

November 20, 2006

Got confirmation from the doc! It's official!

Blogger Beta

Well I have to say I'm liking this version. I'm rather inept at html and stuff like that, so being able to add links without having to worry about that makes me happy.

I've added some links to some more web comics I've found along the way that ticked my funnybone at one time or another.

A funny in the morning is a good thing

My baby sister sent me this in an email this morning...

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's if:
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.
Ok, I never did that one... that I can recall anyway

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
That's another one if those, that perhaps if there was nothing else on.

3. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton.
Nope can't sing the rap, but I did watch the show with some regularity.

4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
That would involve me wearing a skirt, like that ever happened back then.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
Ok, this one shows me that I was born in the 70's, early enough to be too old for the Baby-sitters club books.

6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
Nope, but I had friends who did.

7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.
Hell yeah! Ok ok, I admit it, I watched Blossom.

8. Two words: Hammer Pants.
Heh, we still joke about those nowadays.

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock".
Loved it!

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and spokey-dokes or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.
Hmmm I remember wanting plastic streamers, don't think I actually got them though.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales" (Woo ooh!).
Nope.

12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
Of course it was, there was a D&D cartoon!

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
Ummm yeah, been there, did that.

14. You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen..and still know the turtles names.
Raphael, Donatello, and Michaelangelo right?

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
Never heard of this one.

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
Heh, nope! I tied up my own shirts!

17. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House).
This seems vaguely familiar, but I just can't place it.

18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
Probably.

19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?
Always wanted those shoes.

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten. (She's Truly Outrageous.)
Nope, but maybe the baby sister did.

21. You remember reading Tales of a fourth grade nothing and all The Ramona books.
I think I might have, but then again, I read alot of books.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
Hee hee of course! And I had a crush on the bad guy.

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
Lol!

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
Fluorescent t-shirts ftw!

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
Yup

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
Of course!

27. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard.
Wasn't allowed the cards, but I remember 'em.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
Nope.

29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
Nope, but I remember it.

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
Watch 'em sweat!

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
Nah, Corey Hart!

32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
That's one cartoon I never really watched.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
I used to spend hours making those.

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
Oh probably.

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
Ug, yes.

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
And how way overused it was.

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
Hey that was my first date!

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
Of course! Who put a fence there?

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
My favorite was the one with the strawberry on the end.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
Of course!

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
Um, yeah.

42. You remember Popples.
Nope.

43. Don't worry, be happy.
Hee hee and attempting to remember all the funny noises he made in that song.

44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
Never went that far

45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do..getting yelled at by younger hip members of the family)
Slouch socks!

46. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
I remember asking for a blue one for Christmas. P still has it.

47. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
Yeah, and the first one scared the crap out of me.

48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
Oh yeah.

49. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and & My Little Pony Tales.
My little pony! They were almost horses.

50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
Doogie!

51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
Hee hee yup watched that one.

52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB"
They were the middle sister's passion.

53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class.
Ummm yeah, and Zach was hot.

54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
Know the song, not all the words.

55. You just sang those words to yourself.
Of course, well the words I remember.

56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
Blech, basketball.

57. Homemade Levi shorts. (the shorter the better)
Nah, I was never skinny enough

58. You remember when mullets were cool!
They were?

59. You had a mullet!
Hell no!

60. You still sing "We are the World"
Nope :)

61. You tight rolled your jeans.
Yep!

62. You owned a bannana clip.
Heck, I still have 'em... Great for 80's parties!

63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"
Unfortunately

64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"
Oh, probably sometime in the past... I liked that show!

65. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
Not near as big as the middle sister (Who actually lit her bangs on fire from a kerosene lantern)

66. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!
I wasn't until I re-read this...

Surreality?

Have you ever had a day/evening where your life felt totally surreal?

I had one of those last night. Sitting on the couch watching a fluffy movie it just hit me. Maybe it was because of the nightmare I had Saturday night, I'm not sure.

Let's start with the nightmare. It put me off my mood all day Sunday. I dreamed that M came home from work (security? hmmm past-tense dream?), and announced that he was leaving me. No reason, just he was leaving. We weren't in our current house, but some other "house". I went into a panic of what I was going to do, how I was going to afford the morgage etc. I don't know why this is a recurring nightmare for me, but it comes every few months.

So there I am last night, sitting on the couch in awe of the fact that I am married to someone I never thought would even glance my way (he was way too cute for me) and that I am totally heads over heels in love with, we have made a life and family together and plan to one day expand on that family. We have a gorgeous home, and enough money to live comfortably.

I'm still unsettled today, and would like to do nothing more than curl up on the couch with the fireplace on and M's arms around me.

Perhaps it's the weather... perhaps it's that I haven't been sleeping well. I find I can't fall completely asleep until M comes to bed recently. No matter how exhausted I am, I am in a "half-doze" until he gets into bed and I can curl up with him. Obviously my mind is needing some sort of reassurance... but for why?

Post Thanksgiving

So... The turkey was prepared, cooked and eaten. No one got sick! I think it could have been taken out a bit early, but the in-laws came over in a panic that the 19lb turkey had to go in by 10am! (LOL) Everything we read said 5 hrs. So to eat at 5ish it should go in around noon right? Right. Ah well, the turkey was done almost an hour before the rest of the stuff. Guess we'll know by next year.

We had both sets of in-laws over, and a set of M's grandparents. C was a total beast behaviourwise, apparently when other people show up he turns into an attention desperate idiot. I was not pleased. Then he got so wound up he started throwing temper tantrums. C'mon, you're almost 10! Geeze! Anyways, he got a talking to, and settled down a little. Once all the family left he was back to his old self.

Also, M is getting some movement back in the side of his face. Not much yet, but more than before! Very exciting :)

That's about all the excitement for us during the last week. Taryn, drop me an email you holiday person. Sorry about the party, I just couldn't get M up to going out to a big gathering quite yet. Plus there's now the issue of needing a babysitter, I don't think the inlaws are terribly organized in their new place yet. They had to buy a new bed, since their old one didn't fit in the bedroom. :o

Yes I'm still alive

I'm still here, just haven't felt like blogging in awhile. This past month to month and a half have probably been some of the worst months of my life other than when my dad had his strokes. I am slowly coming to terms with things, and begining the healing process, but it will take time.

For all you out there (well the 1 that reads this blog) everyone is well, including the Bear, so no worries there.

I think soon will be time to get together with some friends... and omg, M suggested we host Thanksgiving this year, so we're going to have a zoo at our place. Thank goodness I bought a 6' table for sewing a couple of weeks ago.

Anyone know how to cook a turkey? :)

Being thankful for what I have

So, events last night brought me with a speedy slam into reality. Turns out I’m going to be an aunt. Yup, the sister out east has gone and gotten herself pregnant. I know I’m supposed to be all excited, squealy, and happy right? But I’m not. I’m jealous. She has always seemed to get everything in life so easily.

Then again, as I was reminded over and over last night, things that come easily are not appreciated near as much as those that come from true hard work. This is true, I value my family and everything I’ve surrounded myself with because I’ve busted my ass for it. Yes, including my husband. He’ll even admit that.

I think it was a shock to me last night, because I figured of all of us, she’d never actually do it. I mean, it would ruin her perfect body y’know?

Also, it really hurt that when my mom phoned to tell me the news, she was positively giddy. I can not think of one instance in my whole life where my mom was that giddy about me. I have to stop trying to live up to my mother’s expectations… I’ll never reach them, and I there’s days I can accept that… then there’s others. That kind of conversation with her makes me want to cut off contact with her totally, but I can’t. I love my dad too much to do that. He comes in and saves the day… he gets on the phone and the first thing he asks me, is about me. He wants to know what M and I are doing for our anniversary on Friday. He’s even willing to take C for the evening for us.

So all in all, I feel like a heel for being jealous of my sister, but the situation is nothing new. I think I’ve been jealous of her and her achievements my whole life. At some point, I have to realize my own achievements. And it takes an awakening like this to slap me in the face with reality again.

M explained it very well last night. We have chosen to go through our lives together smelling the roses. My sister has chosen to go through her life running from finish line to finish line. And last night I got upset because she beat me once again to the finish line. But wait…wasn’t I smelling roses? I have been happier in the past year than I have in longer than I can remember. I need to take my antihistamines and get back to my roses.

I have a wonderful family, a husband who loves me, a great little step-son, an exceptional dog, a gorgeous house, a good job that allows me the freedom and income to do what hobbies I want to. A supportive family (on the odd occasion), a good family-in law who often step in when my family is lacking.

I’ve got it pretty damn good.

I'm amazed my parents ever took us to K-days more than once

So... brain is completely melted with yet another heat wave. Last week was pretty uneventful. Camp was easy to get to, grandmother picked C up all week after camp so I just had the morning ride.

Only real entertainment, if you can call it such, is the dog getting sick.... all over the living room... and horribly, his digested kibble is almost the same color as the carpet. With his last health scare M called me home from work to clean up/watch the dog so he could go to his doc's appt. Doggy's fine, by the next day he was right back to normal. My mom figures perhaps something from the last digestive upset moved and perhaps he's now passed it.

C's camp last week was a "science" camp so he made all sorts of strange goop, and got to go to the Space Science Center (Telus center or whatever now) for a day. He seemed to like it mostly, except for the part where they had to "sit and watch the ceiling for an hour and a half while waiting for the bus" in the astronomy theater.

The house is freaking hot. Have I mentioned that? Thank goodness we have a basement to hide in now, but even that gets sticky and hot after awhile.

We had a wonderful thunderstorm at about 6am this morning. And perfectly timed, the rain and everything stopped before I had to leave to trek across the city to this weeks camp. Next time I'm checking addresses more closely, this one is in bloody Lessard! Now for those who know us, we live in the NORTH! Lessard is on the SOUTH and west too. But strangely enough it took the same amount of time to get there as it did to get downtown, go figure. This week tho, with it not being downtown, we're on our own to pick the kid up. Which means today I get to drive to get him as M is the most senior person at work tonight to wrap stuff up. Should be fun, driving the whitemud twice in 1 day... wow more than I usually do it in a summer!

Oh and yes, as to the title. We took C and a friend P and his son S with us to K-days. I remember it being much more fun as a kid I guess. I hadn't gone in a few years, and now I remember why. It's gotten rather boring. Even the "market" was small and not near as much fun. We did watch the bellydancers who are preforming this year, that was worthwhile, except for the "I'm boreds" echoing from the boys after about 20 mins. I think they enjoyed themselves for the most part. Both panned for gold, C was shown how by one of the people there and so had one nugget found for him, then he found his own, and very nicely shared with S who got fed up and dumped his pan. M and I looked at hottubs, still playing with the idea of putting one in, now we have a bit more info of what we'd need to do first even tho the company's tubs were rather expensive.

Other than that, I'm getting a tan *cry* I can't wait for winter, or at least the fall!

Over the hump and down the...

So, it's Thursday. I finally get the route to camp mapped out in my brain only to have 1 more day to drive it. Then a new one on Monday. Ah well. At least I get to do a lot of riding.

M had a talk with C, and things have been steadily improving with his morning rituals. Today the only thing he needed "reminding" was to brush his teeth. Wow the kid has wicked breath if he doesn't. Hate to see it when he hits puberty. He's also having major troubles locking the door. He needs to be able to do it for school at the end of august since we'll be leaving before him in the morning. Any suggestions? Should we replace the lock with a keypad? Use the bottom pushlock only? (That's what we did in the old house). Any other ideas?

Also to my ladies, it's YaYa time! Let's find a time. :)

Was the baby sister's b-day yesterday, hard to believe she's 27. She bought herself a new car which is great. Was also nice to see my dad get out to a restaurant, I don't think he's been out too much since he got sick. But good reports from the orthopedic doc on his shoulder replacement and the correctional cardiac procedure will be done next month hopefully.

At work we graduated another PhD from the lab. We have 1 grad student left, it's getting small. And in september it's going to get quiet. Very quiet. Part of me is curious as to what's going to happen around here, and part of me wonders if I should be looking to move on. I don't really want to rock the boat at the moment since I've got it really good here, but how long do you hold onto the boat?

Well, just some morning thoughts...

Tomorrow

Well this morning was an improvement over yesterday, although not by much. C didn't set his alarm, so he slept in and we had to haul him out of bet at 7am. Then while getting dressed he goes "I have no pants", I lost it at that point because his father and I had just spent time putting all his pants away on the weekend, and he has 3 bloody drawers of them! So I just told him to keep looking, and lo' he found some.

He did remember his lunch and his water bottle. The lunch I think he only remembered because M looked in the fridge while he was in the kitchen.

On a good note, one of the camp leaders told us that C was really well behaved, polite, and even got a shy kid to participate yesterday. So I hope that camp at least goes well.

I'm not enjoying having to drive cross-city for the damn camp, but if he enjoys it, it's worth it.

Now tonight I have a BBQ at the boss's house to celebrate a PhD defense... gonna be a long night.

Is it bad?

To feel relief at going back to work after my holidays?

Sad to say it, but I'm happy to be back. Going headfirst this past week into step-mom'dom hasn't been a picnic. Not only am I still under all the stress of moving, I have this kid who can't seem to do anything without my express instruction. He's a great kid, but it's gonna drive me nuts if he can't find his own mind soon.

I know it takes time to get settled, thanks for the words of support C! It just feels like I'm trying to do too much all at once, and getting nothing done. I don't feel like I accomplished anything on my holidays except to get more stressed out. I still feel like just sitting and crying at the hopelessness of it all. I know I'm probably having a downswing, since as much as I like change, my body hates it.

It's all I can do to get myself organized, and then to have someone who can't do anything on his own really is hard on me. Here's how this morning went...

C turned off his alarm, so therefor didn't get up when he was supposed to. I'm getting tired of waking everyone up so I stayed in bed until 7. At 7, I rolled out of bed, as did M. C was just getting dressed, I told him to hustle and go eat. I went to get ready. M had to run out the door to get to work.

I finished getting ready, asked C if he ate anything "yeah, a banana". Well at least it's something. Did he feed the dog? No... so tell him to go feed the dog. Tell him to get his backpack. Ask him if he has his waterbottle? No... go get your waterbottle.

I start loading my bike up and tell him to get his jacket. "Where's my jacket?" "If you were a jacket where would you be?" So I finish loading up my bike, find his riding gloves etc. Go back into the house, he's wandering around in his helmet and jacket, no shoes. I go to find my jacket. He's tossed/knocked it on the floor while trying to get his down. I get my jacket on, tell him to get his shoes on. Let the dog in. Fill the waterbottle that's still in the dishwasher (which was full of rotting jujubes by the way).

Grab all my things, get him out the door, lock the door. Ask him where his waterbottle is, as he's come out the door empty handed. Back in he goes to get his water bottle. Out he comes. Send him back to lock the door. He gets on my bike without warning, almost toppling us. Gets in trouble for that. Then I realize he doesn't have his gloves on. Off the bike to get his gloves.

Finally we get moving. 10 mins into the ride I realize that I'm probably going the really long way to get to this damn summer camp that's downtown. Oh well. 5 mins later I realize that I should bet money on the fact that C hasn't put his lunch in his bag either. And top it off, the kid has ants in his pants, which is real bad when on the back of a motorcycle.

I pull over into a Macs store and ask him where his lunch is. He hangs his head. Shit. This is not what I need today. So in we go to the Macs to buy him a sandwich. And.... they don't have any.

So back we get on the bike, and head towards this school, I'm thinking there's got to be some other Macs/7-11 on the way. Finally I spot another one. We pop in there, and 9 bucks later he has food for lunch.

Finally I get to the area where this school is supposed to be... I see churches, churches and senior centers... round and round the block and I finally find the school. It's already later than I wanted to get there (stupid me, thought I could get there for 8). We go in and end up in the daycare section of the school... guh, finally with a bunch of directions we find the gymnasium where they're having the camp and I can finally drop C off. I give them the new phone number, tell them his grandmother is picking him up and finally get on my way to work.

By now I am totally soaked with sweat not only with heat, but just stress in general. I finally get into the lab at 8:45am. Not happy. But lovely G has bought me a Timmy's coffee! And my sweet hubby is very supportive when I whine at him about the morning.

I understand this whole step-mom thing is going to have a lot of growing pains, but I just don't know what to do. I mean, I know I'm not doing it by myself, but recently I feel like it's been all me and I'm beginning to resent it. Must speak to M to see if we can come up with something else.

I only hope tomorrow goes better.

FINALLY!

Some rain! And it's a bit cooler, and I can almost walk around the new house.

I don't like living in chaos, I find it quite upsetting for some reason. I'm tired of the mess, and I know it just takes time to get organized, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to just sit and cry in the middle of the afternoon. At least today is cooler, and I feel like I can actually do some organizing.

We have our bedroom mostly set up, slight downside to this place, is the master bedroom doesn't have near enough closet space for 2 people. So we've got 2 chests of drawers and a dresser full of clothes. That's going to take some getting used to for me, M used to live like that all the time, he never hung stuff up in a closet.

C's room is a disaster zone, that kid has so many clothes, he doesn't need anything new except maybe underwear until he grows out of a size 12. Considering he's wearing a 7 or so at the moment, I think it'll be awhile. He has more clothing than me and M put together. So we're still trying to juggle how to put all his clothes away. I think I'm going to take my parents' methods with the bedroom... it's his place, and he has to deal with it, so we will just close the door if it's messy. He's not allowed to do that anywhere else in the house, if he makes a mess playing in the rumpus room he has to clean it up.

We even lucked into some free living room furniture from my aunt who is moving this week as well. A couch and chair which we go pick up tonight. I also want to take a look at her dining room set which she might part with for some cash... all depends on how much cash she wants as to whether we decide to take it. There's always the bargain finder.

So maybe the stress level is coming down, maybe not. It's hard to say. I've been living on a sore stomach for so long I'm getting used to it.

M's back at work this week, it's taking some getting used to just being me and C. I value independance, and he's never had to be. But M and I decided, he's had enough babying in his 9 years, it's time he learned to microwave food, tie his own shoes, make his own lunch, etc. It feels harsh to me, but I think it's just because he's been so coddled. His grandfather's favorite word for how C was raised. Can't knock his grandmother, that's what they do ;) It's just they're not normally raising a child 24/7.

So that's where we stand for now. I'm back to work next week, and part of me will be relieved to get back, at least to get away from the mess here for awhile. Even though it's going to make the evenings rougher.

Moved

Moved, but far from settled. Many many thank you's to all who helped!

Ok now I'm pissed

I HATE PUSHY PEOPLE! There, I had to get that out.

I called a certain internet provider to cancel my account with them, we're moving, we thought we'd try something new (*GASP*). I had to almost hang up on the guy who decided to tell me all the negatives of another internet provider even though I didn't tell him who we are going with, and would not let me get off the phone. I'm still debating calling back to make a complaint, but why should I waste my time with them even further? I mean, you'd think, I'm calling to cancel, it should take all of 5 minutes right? Apparently not. Hell, even if the new provider doesn't work out, there's no way I even want to think about going back after this guy. They totally blew a customer, good thing we decided we don't watch enough TV to put up with them for that either.

I so need my holidays... 2 more days... after today that is...

Now I've gone and done it

Heh, nothing bad. I figured since I'm finding friends blogs on livejournal I'd set up an account there. I probably won't use the journal part of it, but another way to keep in touch. Perhaps I should put a link... one of these days

ENOUGH ALREADY!

Ok, we've decided that we've had enough bad luck. 10 years worth in 3 months... That's it.. no more!